Zezima's Rise and Fall
by Clodsky
Summary: Clodsky, Dystridev, and Enigma have a daunting task ahead of them. Can they stop Zezima before he takes over the world in the name of Zamorak? R&R!
1. Intro

**Runescape Epics**

**Zezima's Rise and Fall**

A most dangerous place the green dragons domain seemed to be, but the young warrior named Gaunt felt up to the challenge. Impaling the dragon through the throat with the Dragon longsword, the blood gushed through its throat as he flinched in fear; he turned around to see several S ranked fighters staring him in the face. One wearing the Barrow brother Guthan's armor, his spear shining gallantly. Another wearing the magical armor of infinity with a lava staff. The third and final warrior wearing the archer Karil's armor with a rune crossbow, his bolt set to kill. Gaunt had cement shoes for a moment until he sensed several A ranks, one being very familiar to him; his fear stopped at that moment.

The warrior in Guthans spoke menacingly, "The black plague is upon you." He twirled his staff and signaled to his comrades. "Your life is on the verge of inexistence."

Gaunt was yet again unphased, almost laughing at the trio of warriors placed before him. He smirks, saying, "Here we go again". Unbeknownst to the three warriors, a purple wave of energy had been shot over them, disabling any teleports they might have had planned. The hidden warrior chucks a rock at the ranger and hits him in the back of the head.

The warrior speaks, "Hey guys, what's up? I hope you didn't have any plans to leave us anytime soon." Gaunt knows this familiar figure to be Cloud, his friend and A ranked warrior. The A ranked warrior Cloud was clad in a black sleeveless uniform top and pants, pieces to a black Zamorakian robe draped over his left arm and leg, black matching gloves with Zamorak symbols on the wrists embroidered in red, along with a cape of pure obsidian, climbing boots, an amulet of glory, and to top off this odd appearance the warrior had spiky blonde hair that flowed in the wind and the Dragon Two-Handed Sword, which requires special training even for the most experienced warrior to wield. He stood there waiting, twirling his giant Dragon 2H in his hand with little difficulty.

All of a sudden, a ranger jumped out from a tree stabbing the Guthans warrior in the eye with an arrow, killing him instantly. The Rune arrow shattered on impact as it penetrated his eye socket. Cloud then proceeds to spin slash horizontally, slicing the ranger in half at the waist killing him. Then, the hidden mage jumped down from another tree and flicked a whip out, and wrapped it around the other mages skull; he then proceeded to pull back causing the mages head to be twisted off completely. The ranger and the mage were ready to attack each other, until Cloud stepped in.

He stepped between them and spoke with a calming voice, "Guys wait, I don't think we should fight each other. Hell, if anything, I think we should team up! You both saw what we just did!" The mage and ranger looked at each other for a moment, and decided it was for the best. "Alright, well let's start by introducing ourselves. I'm Cloud." He shakes hands with the two of them and waits for their introductions.

The ranger was next to speak, "I'm Dystridev. You both can call me Dys." He was clad in black d hide top and bottoms, mime boots, black void knight gloves, black trimmed helmet, a cape of pure obsidian, a glory amulet, the crystal and magic shortbow crossed his back, with the dragon halberd sticking straight up from them, and he had nice white hair slicked back.

It was now the mages turn to speak, "I am Enigma. I'll be your mage guys cause I'm fuckin' awesome like that ya know?" Enigma wore red Zamorak robes, a glory amulet, and a cape of obsidian, his hair was a longish white with spikes that came down in his eyes, and he carries a whip and dragon scimitar. Then, from out of nowhere they were all suddenly staring into the eyes of the king black dragon.

His voice was rough and deep, it seemed to shake the insides of their souls as he spoke. "Leave us, or die," he proclaimed. This

was punctuated by the sound of a warp, and the next thing they knew, they were all standing in the presence of their good friend Lt. Shibby.

"Damn you guys, I almost burned my flippin' manta ray cause of you!" He looked frustrated, but pleased to see his three best friends. They all had a friend in common in Shibby, because of the military background. He took his manta ray from the oven and put it on the table, then looked to his friends, "I do believe its ready guys, come and eat ya bastards!" The outstanding quartet raced to the table, with Enigma getting shoved into the wall, knocking down a plaque with a Daggonoth head on it.

Enigma looked rather pissed off at this turn of events, "I'm gonna fucking kill you Dys!" Enigma jumped from the floor onto Dys, knocking him to the ground. Fists and feet were flying to the point where almost no one noticed the glowing red monks of Zamorak hovering in through the window. One of the monks took advantage of the chaos in the room; took one of the dining chairs from the table, snuck up behind Shibby and cracked the chair over his head, knocking him unconscious.

Cloud turned to see his friend Shibby K'O-ed and yelled at Enigma and Dystridev, "Guys look! We gotta get these monks outta here!" Cloud grabbed Enigma and lifted him from Dystridev so they could help him fight the monks that were tearing Shibby's house apart.

Dystridev quickly head sprung up to his feet and yanked the halberd from his back spinning a 180, facing away from the monk and jabbing one Zamorak monk in the stomach knocking the wind out of him and spun back around facing him and impaled him onto the halberd raised him into the air jumped onto the table and slammed the blade into the table keeping the monk pinned to the table. He then pulled the magic shortbow from his back and a rune arrow from his leg quiver and shot the monk in the face. Yanking the halberd back he turned to see Cloud having a confrontation with a monk himself.

Cloud was in the kitchen slamming a monk's face into the lit stove top burner. He yanked his face back only to decapitate him with the Dragon 2H. Cloud threw a newcomer's map to Enigma.

Enigma caught the map and looked at Cloud, "What the fuck do I need this for?"

Cloud replied, "Improvise, dumbass."

Enigma turned around and pulled the map around an unaware monk's face and suffocated him with the map.

Dystridev looked to the last one, the leader, and watched him run for the window, but Dystridev put another arrow in the bow and fired, connecting nicely right into his ankle, pinning him to the wall. Enigma quickly ran up and threw the now crumbled newcomer's map at his face, doing absolutely nothing but humiliating him. Cloud ran up next and kicked the monk in the genitals... "Sucks to be that guy" Dystridev said as he watched Cloud do that.

"He deserved it... look at Shibby's house!" Cloud said in outrage.

Dystridev finally put his magic shortbow back on his back and grabbed up the halberd again. He approached the helpless and pathetically humiliated monk slowly. "You feeling alright, asshole? Because the house doesn't look alright; I see blood on that table! Go clean it up with your tongue and no alcohol allowed to clean it! If you get AIDs that's your fault. You shouldn't have broken into our friend's house and tried to kill us all..."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh okay sir, just don't fuck me up again" the monk said pathetically enough. The monk quickly jumped onto the table and proceeded to lick up the blood.

Enigma walked over to Dystridev and whispered in his ear, "What the fuck was the purpose of that Dys?"

"I don't know, I just thought it would be funny" Dystridev replied.

"You guys are fucked up" Cloud said between laughs. "Oh, shouldn't we check if Shibby's okay?"

"Ehhh, he'll live" Dystridev said calmly.

Enigma recovered his will and stature and finally returned to calmness, "Okay I propose we find out why the hell this dimwit showed up"

"Wouldn't be such a bad idea" Cloud said.

Shibby finally got up and looked around at his house. "...Cloud... what the FUCK... HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!? I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU ALL!!!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!" Shibby screamed as he started pushing Cloud out the door. Cloud walked out the door and watched Dystridev and Enigma leave as well but not forgetting to grab their bitch (that fag monk).


	2. Damn That Burns!

Chapter 1

Damn That Burns!

Cloud led them to an abandoned alleyway by the Brimhaven Agility Course. Dystridev put the halberd blade to the monk's throat, "Now..."

"Yea... now..." Enigma said mocking Dystridev.

"Shut the fuck up Enigma he's trying to talk" Cloud said quickly.

Dystridev quickly put pressure on the monk's throat when he realized he was going to resist, "Do you value your so called 'oath' or 'honor' to whoever sent you enough to give up your life?"

The monk resisted and tried to push the halberd back quickly and got up and started limp-running away. Enigma quickly casted snare, making the monk's escape very futile, "Dammit" the monk muttered to himself as he realized the slim chance he had of getting away.

"Hey dimwit, wanna try that again? I'll cast ice barrage next time" Enigma said in response to the attempted escape.

The monk turned around and stared them down, "You made the mistake letting me live". The monk pulled his Zamorak Staff from behind him and casted Zamorak Flames upon the trio. Enigma fell unconscious from the shot and Dystridev extremely wounded, Cloud had enough energy to notice that the monk died from the shot. Cloud got up and checked the monk's corpse, his body incinerated to ash and his staff as well. All that was left was an amulet and the robes. Cloud closely inspected the amulet and noticed an engraving. It read "PMJ".

"Hmm... this seems familiar" Cloud muttered to himself as he pocketed the amulet and turned to his just now recovering teammates. He helped them to their feet and they proceeded on the walk back to Varrock.

As the trio reached Varrock they gazed upon their idol, Novalyfe. He was getting up there in years but he was still a valiant warrior, well known as a very important White Knight and protector of Varrock during many wars. Nova chuckled slightly looking at their stone gazes, "You all can pick up your chins any day now".

Dystridev straightened up quickly realizing he was drooling, "Oh shit" he muttered to himself as he tried to look nice in front of his idol even though he had blood on his black dragon hide.

Cloud literally picked up his jaw because it was literally agape, and wiped off the dust from his uniform top.

Enigma backhanded Cloud and Dystridev for acting like such suck ups and turns to Nova, "Guys, stop being a bunch of 'Upstanding citizens' and faking your 'Righteousness' in front of Nova. Just because he's the greatest warrior in Gielnor and completely owns your soul doesn't mean you have to suck up".

Zezima then approached, walking from Varrock castle with the head of the king, "Oh please, you can't honestly consider little ol' Nova the toughest thing in Gielnor, you must realize that I am the greatest thing to happen to Varrock's military since the discovery of Dragon weapons. I would wipe the floor with that old man if he ever decided to turn on Varrock, just like the king, anyone who opposes my stand, dies.

Cloud struck back, "You're a disgrace to my hometown!"

"Petty words, boy" Zezima talked down to Cloud.

"We'll see how petty they are when your sword is drawn" Dystridev said as he pulled the halberd from his back.

Nova stood between them, "No bloodshed in Varrock, and I would like to speak to you three personally, Zezima, I bid you adieu, be gone".

Zezima turned away and walked back towards the castle with his head hung in defeat.

Nova turned back to the trio, "You all must learn to make your judgments a bit more wisely; I sense you all have great potential and something tells me you are destined for greatness, I would hate to see some hotshot like Zezima cut your destiny short. I cannot tell you details of such for it would alter the future but I know you all have been reserved a place of greatness in this world. Saradomin must have blessed you well. I must go now though, there are matters that are above even your awareness yet that I must attend to. I bid you adieu, and may Saradomin's light guide you". Just then Nova teleported away, leaving the trio in awe.

"...What... the... left nut..." Dystridev said in surprise.

"I blame Zamorak... I didn't ask for this 'Great power, great responsibility' bullshit" Enigma muttered.

"Aw come on guys, this is great news!" Cloud said in great cheer. "We're destined for greatness! I say we all go down to the Blue Moon Inn and have ourselves a few drinks in celebration! Drinks on me!"

Enigma looked at Cloud, "I'm holding you to that Clodsky"

"What the hell'd you call me?" Cloud asked?

"He said Clodsky, dumbass, are you deaf?" Dystridev said jokingly.

"Ahh shut the fuck up Dys" Cloud said in response. Cloud quickly pushed them into the pub and walked up to the bar, "Barkeep, 3 beers and 1 for the lady behind the counter".

"Yea yeah, keep your goddamn pants on" the barkeep said as he started pouring beers.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE HURRY THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THE FUCK I'M HERE I'M LIKE HALF TEMPTED TO PICK UP A FUCKING HOOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dystridev started flipping out.

Enigma looked at Dystridev, "Dude... you're not even drunk yet... shut the fuck up". Cloud grabbed the beers and tossed them to the guys at the table. Cloud then walked over to the girl behind the bar and began his little 'Flirt session'. Enigma looked up to see Cloud, "Dude Dys, Clodsky's ditchin' us for a chick! Go fuck him up!"

Dystridev looked at Enigma, then back at Cloud. Dystridev got up from his seat, took a chug of his beer, and walked over to Cloud, "Hey... fucker... what the hell is the deal here, you said we were supposed to celebrate together, not you pick up a ho and go do your own thing". The girl walked over to him and slapped him. Dystridev grinned, "I deserved that".

Cloud pulled the Dragon 2h from his back, "If you have a problem with the girl I'll gladly see to it that you don't any longer".

Enigma stood up from his seat, knocking the chair over, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

The barkeeper quickly threw a glass at Enigma, breaking it on his head. "Sit down and shut up" the barkeeper told him.

Dystridev turns around, "You sack of shit, you did not just hit Enigma". Dystridev pulled out his Dragon Halberd and twirled it around and held it at his waist. "You're going down for that" he said as he ran at the barkeeper, front flipped over the counter and vertically cut the barkeeper in half. Dystridev puts the halberd back on his back and pulls out the barkeep's wallet. "Here, you're the new owner, hope you thank Cloud in some good ways if ya get what I mean" he says as he throws the wallet to the bar maid.

Enigma was still standing there dumbfounded, he had been hit by a glass, and then the guy died about 5 seconds later, he didn't know what to think was going on. "Damn! Today is cool!!!" he said as he ran out throwing beer into the air.

Cloud put the Dragon 2h back on his back. "So can I get a name to match that unforgettable face?" Cloud said, being a slick bastard.

"My name is Tifa, Tifa Lockheart. And you?" she introduced herself.

"I'm Cloud Strife, but apparently I'm called Clodsky by my friends now. And the white haired asshole is Dystridev, A. K. A. Dys, and the other white haired bastard who just sat there the whole time is Enigma, he's weird, watch it, he might molest ya" Cloud introduced himself to her.

"Well, I've got to get back to work and start cleaning things up after what your friend did, I'll have to talk to you another time, but I'll be here anytime you wanna talk" she smiled.

"No, actually I insist that I clean up after my friends, I can't have you cleaning up after my rowdy friends who have no self control whatsoever" Cloud insisted. The rest of the night was spent, rather interestingly for Cloud we shall say (Cloud laid ). Dystridev left for Falador during the night, no one was too sure why or when. Enigma spent the night in a barrel in the Varrock General Store, sipping chocolate milk out of a bucket with a grain of wheat.

Cloud awoke, the daylight shuddering through the blinds bothered him but he knew even after such a good night he was going to have to look into that amulet today, he got up and grabbed his clothes, quickly getting dressed he kissed Tifa on the forehead and quickly ran out the door grabbing his Dragon 2h on the way out. Enigma quickly jumped out of the barrel to scare Cloud as he ran into the square. "Dammit Enigma you scared the shit outta me!" Cloud said in panic.

"Haha Clodsky got mental owned" Enigma said jokingly.

"Where'd Dys go?" Cloud asked him.

"I don't know, it wasn't my turn to watch him" Enigma said ignorantly.

"HEY I TOLD YOU IT WAS YOUR TURN!!!" Cloud said sarcastically.

Dystridev moped back into town, "Man, last night was gay, I don't wanna talk about it just leave that alone. What's the game plan for today Cloud?"

Cloud pulled the amulet from his pocket, "Hmm, it says 'PMJ', any clue guys?"

"Nada" Dystridev responded.

"Same" Enigma shot off.

"Then I propose we go see Grave about this, since Shibby's pissed at us about last night haha" Cloud laughed to himself.

"Hmm, he was last stationed at Ardougne, I suggest we go there to find him" Dystridev quickly stated.

"Then let's get moving" Enigma instructed as he teleported Cloud and Dystridev to Ardougne. After blowing the fake smoke from his 'gun finger' he snapped his fingers twice and teleported himself to Ardougne as well.

Dystridev landed hard on his rear since Enigma got lazy and decided to try to drop him on his head, and got up and brushed himself off. "Thanks a lot Enigma haha" he chuckled to himself at Enigma's prank. He helped Cloud up and looked around. "Alright the military training grounds are west of here, I believe it would be most reasonable to think that we'd check there" Dystridev recommended.

"Hmm, indeed Einstein, that would be most predictable actions of a MORON" Enigma said. "Look retards" he pointed to a sign directly in front of them. The sign read "Grave's Personal Protection and Hit Unit, Walk Two Steps to Your Left and Turn around 5 times, and Jump in place 3 times and you will be teleported to the HQ".

"..." Dystridev was skeptical.

Cloud looked into the sky, "Well, my name is weird enough; I guess if my name could be a white fluffy thing in the sky, these instructions could actually work".

Enigma looked at Cloud with a face of retardation, "For fuck's sake dumbass, let's see it work then".

"Yea, I'm looking forward to the performance, I mean... 'Activation code'" Dystridev said in sarcasm.

Cloud blushed as he did the instructions, looking like a retard in the middle of Ardougne square, after performing the instructions he was instantly teleported.

"OH SHIT!" Enigma flipped out.

"Yea yea shut the fuck up and get to your damn dance already" Dystridev instructed.

Enigma performed the instructions and landed on Cloud, Dystridev came next landing on them both. "God dammit, get off me please?" Cloud said while trying to pull a wedgie out of his pants.

Dystridev quickly hopped up and walked toward the main desk, "We're here to see Grave, no bullshit, I don't wanna hear 'He's not here right now' or some other bullshit, you gimme that and I'll take your head off here and now and keep walking".

"..." the secretary was speechless.

"What my overly stupid friend here MEANT to say was, I love you, I want your sweet ass on my lap now bitch" Enigma said mocking Dystridev.

Cloud was so busy laughing he had forgotten why they had came but then quickly remembered, "Oh yea, seriously we need to see Grave, it's urgent, and if you wanna go fuck Dys then go do it in a bathroom or something but ANOTHER TIME, we're busy right now".

"..." the secretary was still speechless.

"Are you mute or something?" Cloud asked.

"..." she got up and backhanded Cloud." No, dumbfuck, I'm a human being, speak to me like one asshole!"

"OWNED!" Enigma said to be a jerk.

Dystridev got tired of all the talk and walked past her, opening the door hastily, it slammed against the wall breaking interior glass. "Grave, you are needed. Don't fucking tell me to leave a message or I'll show you how this halberd works just like I did back in boot camp".

Cloud ignored Dystridev's rampage and leaned into the secretary, "If you want a good time, meet me in the bathroom in 5".

"Fuck off!" she backhanded him so bad that he flung across the room and broke through a wall.

"GODDAMN!!!! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" Enigma started chanting.

Dystridev turns around to see Cloud fling through the wall, "What the fuck Cloud, keep your hands out of your pants for 5 minutes for Saradomin's sake!"

Cloud looked up to see the back of Grave's head, "GRAVE!!! YOUR SECRETARY'S A BITCH! FIRE HER!"

"..." she was speechless once again.

"Dude, are we not the most fucked up people in Gielnor or what?" Enigma muttered to himself but half to the secretary.

Cloud walked into Grave's office, "Grave, how've you been?" Cloud asked.

"Things are well, being a mercenary pays well, but I'm sure you know just as well as I do" Grave acknowledged Cloud's question.

"Yea, mercenary work is fun, it gets me around" Cloud smirked.

Grave turned around in his chair, wearing a tuxedo, he seemed different from when they had remembered. His hair was now short, and tidy, no longer the long hair he once had.

"I see business has wrapped its finger around you, Grave" Dystridev said on a side note.

"Hey, it's all appearances, otherwise I'm still the same Grave you knew back in boot camp, I would still beat your ass for talking that way to my secretary if she was my girlfriend still haha" Grave chuckled.

"We need you to look at this, old friend" Cloud handed Grave the amulet.

Grave took the amulet and closely inspected it... "Hmmmmmm, 'PMJ'... reminds me of the days of fighting against Varrock's personal army for boot camp combat training. Don't you remember that? The only time we really got to be full allies on the battlefield. If I remember correctly, there was a man named 'Partyman' John. Quite the bastard. I mean... well he wasn't the most agreeable person. Where did you get this Cloud? I believe whoever was wearing this was working for him or is enlisted under him".

"We were at a friend, Lt Shibby's house, when we were attacked by monks of Zamorak which we disposed of, but we happened to notice this, and believe me, they weren't pushover monks. I do seem to remember a 'Partyman' John having a disagreement with Shibby in his military establishment..." Cloud told him.

"Hmm, then, I believe he is trying to kill Shibby, and if you tried to stop him, he'll be after you all now, I suggest you get to him and take care of him, find out why he's trying to kill the lot of you. I believe he's enlisted with the Varrock personal army still, that'd be your best bet to finding him. Move quickly, you don't know how long it could be until he sends them after you or him again" Grave sent them off.

Dystridev nodded and turned around, "Oh. Sorry about the glass, Grave" Dystridev laughed to himself not caring about the damage done.

Cloud followed Dystridev out the door and as entering the main room, he realized Enigma was on the desk, on top of the secretary, making out with her. "...Enigma... time to go..." Cloud said nervously.

"..." Enigma ignored Cloud.

Dystridev walked up to Enigma, pulled the halberd off his back and stabbed the desk right by Enigma's head. "Let's mosey!" Cloud said.

"...I hate you guys" Enigma muttered to himself as he dismounted the secretary.

"So Cloud, what will we do once we get to this guy?" Dystridev asked.

"...Kick his ass and ask why he's sending people after us, duh" Cloud answered.

"For fuck's sake, you all can't come up with a decent plan if you got paid 60 million gold" Enigma argued. "What we need to do, is get in there, kill his security, corner him alone, I'll snare and teleport block his ass in a corner, and then you two fuck him up until he's nearly dead, then we interrogate his dumbass while he's down for the count".

"...Wow" Dystridev was dumbfounded.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Cloud asked.

"..." Enigma shut up instantly.

"Well I guess me and Cloud just imagined that" Dystridev said.

"No Dys, I'm mad you're confused, I said it. That was totally my plan" Cloud denied.

"...What the fuck..." Enigma got jipped.

Cloud picked up a newcomer's map off the ground and handed it to Enigma.

"What the hell, not again" Enigma said to Cloud.

"Improvise dumbass" Cloud shot back.

Enigma grabbed both Dystridev and Cloud by their shoulders and teleported them to Varrock with him.

"Welcome to Varrock, here we serve fresh kills, and a spear to your heart if you'd like" a guard said to them as they appeared in the square.

"What the fuck? You're dead bitch!" Dystridev spun around a 360, pulled the halberd from his back in mid spin and sliced the guard in half horizontally for his threat.

"...Dys... that was so unnecessary" Enigma said calmly.

"...Seriously... what the fuck man... you're fucked up" Cloud told Dystridev.

"What the fuck guys? He threatened to kill us and you all are defending him? YOU ALL ARE THE FUCKED UP ONES" Dystridev argued back.

Enigma looked towards the wall to see four people at the Varrock castle pathway wall. One named, Wilis, a good friend of Dystridev, a good spirited guy with good intentions. Then, one other named Fire, he was once closely associated with the Varrock military until 'something' happened, he would never discuss, but he had managed to make a bond with Cloud during this time in the military. Another being Neon, a childhood friend of Enigma's, he didn't have a whole lot of common sense in dangerous situations, which kept Enigma wondering how he had survived as long as he had. And the final person being 'Partyman' John himself. Neon and John were apparently arguing over something, and John lifted his Verac's Flail, and crushed it upon Neon's skull, smushing his head into his shoulders, leaving him headless. His body went limp and fell backwards, hitting the ground with a loud thud as the rune helm broke like glass against the ground. Enigma watched his childhood friend die before his eyes. "..."Enigma was speechless but not about to let him get away with that. Enigma ran at John pulling his Dragon Scimitar from his waist and juking to the right, turning and slashing at John's waist, cutting him successfully through his Verac's brassard and breaking it on contact. Enigma did a backflip parrying John's flail with ease, and then jumps onto John's shoulders and brings down the scimitar down on his helm as hard as he could but to no avail; John grabbed Enigma by the bottom of his robe and slammed him into the ground then pulled the flail back and began smashing him across the face back and forth. Dystridev quickly reacted to this and began firing with the Crystal Bow at him and the energy arrows penetrated John's armor and he quickly turned around and nearly broke the bow with one foul strike of the flail.

"Fuck!" Dystridev yelled to himself as he quickly whipped back the Crystal Bow and pulled out his magic shortbow and began firing rune arrows at him.

Cloud decided quickly that he wasn't going to be any part of this so he went to the Blue Moon Inn to talk to Tifa.

"Dude what the fuck Clodsky!?" Enigma yelled while being beaten to a pulp.

Tifa quickly ran out to the square before Cloud got far and kicked him in the balls for ditching his friends.

"AWWWW FUCKING OW!" Cloud yelped in pain like a dog that just got kicked.

Dystridev finally threw the magic shortbow back on his back and pulled the Dragon Halberd from his back and impaled John with it from behind.

"You can't honestly expect that to do anything to me" John said calmly as he pulled the halberd through him and bashed Dystridev over the head with it. Dropping the halberd on the ground, John started realizing he was bleeding. "Ugh, dammit" he started limping back towards Varrock castle. "Guards, dispose of them, I don't want even their skeletal remains in my town".

Twenty Black Knights were summoned by John prepared to kill Dystridev and Enigma. Cloud ran up and stood with them to help the onslaught of knights coming towards them. The knights readied their swords and charged at the trio with alarming speed.

Three of the knights charged to Fire, stabbed him through his midsection, his guts splattered on the ground sickeningly. The knights that killed him then were instantly frozen, thanks to Enigma's ice barrage. Cloud and Dystridev came and beheaded the frozen knights in a flurry of blindingly fast slashes with the halberd and 2H. Wilis found himself trapped in-between 3 of the knights so decided to fight. He pulled the Rune Scimitar from his waist and impaled one of the knights with it, then kicked another in the face stunning him, and rushed the third one with his Rune Kiteshield. He then killed them both, feeling satisfied with himself that he didn't die the same way Fire did. Cloud then ran into the midst of the Black Knights and slashed wildly but powerfully, killing most of them with a single hit. Enigma took his Dragon Scimitar and sliced another knight's throat who tried to get him from behind "Fuckin' ass raper! Don't try and get me from behind I don't roll like that bastard!"

Dystridev yelled among the chaos "He's in denial don't listen to that gay ass!". He stopped laughing long enough to fire a rune arrow from his Magic Shortbow into the back of the neck of the final knight standing. "Heh, a job well done, now let's go after 'Gayman' John." He placed the bow back onto his back with the halberd and started walking to the castle. He noticed the running footsteps of the remaining two knights approaching from his flanks, he quickly did a front flip landing on his back but pulling the halberd from his back and spinning it above himself severing their legs from the knees down. He quickly hopped back to his feet and continued walking towards the castle with the halberd held tightly in a clenched fist. Enigma and Cloud quickened their pace to keep up with his hastened steps. They ran up the sets of stairs to reach the top where they believed John would be.

As Dystridev saw the sky he looked forward to see John. He smiled and held up a Law rune. He teleported away, laughing at the trio. Enigma dropped his shoulders, "Well that was anti climactic..."

"Should we follow him?" Cloud asked.

"...You're supposed to be the leader, dumbass" Dystridev shot back.

"Damn... Alright then I guess we should warn Shibby that John's after him" Cloud stated. They then started the long walk to Shibby's house since Enigma had no runes on him for teleporting.


	3. Why the Hell Do We Always

Chapter 2

Why The Hell Do We Always Become The Center Of Attention?

They paid the sailor to take them to Karamja, magnificent island and the site of Shibby's seaside home. They stepped off the boat, and Enigma almost fell into the salty ocean. "Son of a bitch!" Enigma cursed. They walked down the street to his mansion. They reached it and heard thunderous sounds coming from it.

"Sounds kinda like a party or something..." Cloud thought out loud. He opened the door and it was quite crowded inside, Shibby was definitely having the party for a special occasion. They stepped inside and Cloud started asking people about the party.

He walked up to a big guy, dressed like a bouncer and asked him "Know why there's a party going on here?"

The big bouncer guy replied "Yes, the owner of this house just redecorated, and thought it was appropriate to celebrate in a grand way."

Cloud turned to walk deeper into the house and the festivities and the bouncer pulled a gem from his pocket and spoke into it "Yes, he's the one."

Cloud found Enigma and Dystridev living it up with some rather beautiful young women. "Hey guys how ya enjoyin' the party?" he asked.

Someone came behind Cloud and took the D2H right off his back, with no difficulty. Cloud turned to see Rock, his rival from the Varrock Marine Corps. Cloud reacted to this in two ways, shock at seeing his rival Rock so randomly, and anger at having his D2H taken from him so easily. So he did something unexpected as well. He walked up and punched Rock in the face. Rock dropped the 2H and staggered a bit, then recovered and started yelling so everyone in the party could hear him.

"If this punk with the faggot spikes doesn't fight me here and now, I'll start slaughtering you all! I challenge you, Cloud!"

Cloud was rather taken aback by this turn of events, and replied "Fine, but no interference, by anyone."

He drew his D2H from his back, and took a battle stance. Rock pulled his own D2H, the only other in all of Gielnor, and stood menacingly.

"En garde, Cloud."

Rock pulled the Dharoks Great axe from his back, and used it as a projectile, throwing it horizontally spinning at Cloud. He saw it just in time and grabbed it out of the air, spinning it vertically back towards Rock. Rock jumped over it and they both dashed at each other.

Meanwhile, two of Rock's friends attacked Enigma and Dystridev. These two were Asianbouncer, and Palace King. They soon joined the fray in the center of the room, the only space large enough to accommodate a battle of this magnitude. Rock continued to apply more and more strength into his attacks, hoping to overwhelm Cloud. Cloud had noticed this, and began to charge up a powerful technique, hoping to hit Rock's teammates with it as well.

Dystridev struck at Palace King repeatedly with powerful slashes from his halberd, but didn't seem to have much of an effect on the gargantuan brawler. Enigma was having quite the same problem with Asianbouncer, who quickly grew bored and started throwing Enigma around, much like a kid with a ragdoll toy.

Cloud completed the charging of his power, and began to dash throughout the room at alarming speed, taking slashes at all of Rock's team, but overall having little effect because all of his attacks were being countered and defended by Rock.

Rock took Cloud by the arm and threw him up against the wall, and began to hit him repeatedly with powerful punches. He was unable to even put his hands up to defend himself after a moment or so. Dystridev and Enigma were also overwhelmed, so they found themselves in the very same predicament.

Then seemingly from nowhere, Novalyfe appeared, "This battle ends now! Or you will all be spending the night in Ardougne jail for your impudence". Everyone ceased the fight at once, namely Rock, Asianbouncer, and Palace King. "Cloud and party, come with me" Nova requested as he walked out of the room, "And Rock take your puny little strike squad and put them back through basic training. And yes I do mean go back to Tutorial Island".

Nova guided Cloud, Dys, Enigma, and Shibby towards Tai Bwo Wannai village and stopped by the general store for a talk. "Now, I know you warriors have been misled into believing that there is hardly evil in the world, but I am disgraced to say, that it has corrupted the Varrock military, and in turn the town as well. You cannot afford to trust anyone there any longer, I fear it may only cause you more trouble than you've already dealt with".

"Do you know of our expedite with the Zamorak mages at Shibby's house the other day?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, those bastards trashed my fuckin' house!!!!!" Shibby steamed off.

Dys looked away, "Yeah, they really managed to make a mess of things, and why would Zamorakians be after our blood...?"

Nova nodded to Cloud, and looked to Dystridev, "Well you see, Zezima, who now leads the Varrock military, has paid off your Zamorakian foes to make attempts on your lives. If you wish to further understand this and if you wish to deal with such a problem seek out a High Priest of Zamorak. I hear one resides in the caverns beneath Varrock. It can be accessed from a secret panel in the southeast corner of the Varrock sewers. Although if you choose to proceed, beware of the dangers ahead; for they are greater than anything you have encountered thus far and the conflict is not going to get any easier until it's all done and over with".

Cloud nodded back to Nova, "Then it sounds like we've got a mission, doesn't it guys?"

Enigma looked at Cloud, "Clodsky are you sure? He makes it sound awfully dangerous..." he said with a sarcastic smirk.

Dys chuckled at Enigma's comment, "Heh, Nova you underestimate our courage and reckless impulsiveness".

Nova looked away, and back at them, "Oh no it's just I was saying if you had to say another smart ass comment I'd fucking hit you with an anchor and some vengeance" he muttered under his breath. "Oh no, I understand and I completely know what you 4 are capable of, so I don't believe you should be underestimating my comprehension of the situation at hand".

Shibby laughed, "Ha Dys got owned by Nova verbally!"

Dys gave a look of frustration, "Shut the FUCK up Shibby before I take Nova's anchor he's threatening me with and shove it up your ass".

Shibby's face twisted into an odd frown, "No, thank you".

Enigma licked his finger, "Tastes like dead Zammy bitch in about 10 minutes".

"Then it's settled, let's mosey!" Cloud rushed the 4.

Shibby looked down, "Um, I don't like spiders... and I have a party to attend to, sorry guys, I'm sitting this one out". Shibby walked away towards home.

"Then we do it ourselves!" Cloud said with stupid enthusiasm.

"Yea... I think you mean you all just follow me while I do all the work" Enigma said with a smirk.

"Shut the fuck up" Dys said frustrated.

"Dys... blow me" Enigma made his comeback.

Dys punched Enigma in the stomach, "There's your blowjob, bitch". Enigma clenched his stomach and fell to the ground. "Aw, did I sucky too hard?" Dys mocked him.

"Damn you Dys!" Enigma struggled to say.

"Um, did you guys misunderstand? I said let's MOSEY!" Cloud repeated.

"Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up too Clodsky" Dys was getting REALLY irritated.

"Dys is on his period let's just go without him you can follow me and I'll do all the work Clodsky" Enigma said again. Dys stepped on Enigma's hand, "OW!!!!" he yelped as he threw his Dragon Dagger at Dys. Dys sidestepped the dagger and kicked Enigma in the stomach.

"You ready to go or you gonna just piss yourself on the ground now?" Dys continued to mock Enigma. Dys finally reached his hand down and helped Enigma up. Once Enigma got up he pushed Dys, "Yeah... is that it Enigma?" Dys mocked him still.

Novalyfe looked at them, "What the hell are you guys doing? Are you going to go or are you going to act like a bunch of immature children all night?"

"LET'S MOSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cloud yelled at them.

"Yeah fine whatever" Dys finally paid attention to Cloud.

"Oh sorry Clodsky" Enigma stood up straight.

"Finally, now can you all get there without having someone tie your shoes?" Nova joshed.

Enigma teleported the trio to Varrock Square.


	4. Church: Choir or Fiber Wire?

Chapter 3

Church:

Choir or Fiber Wire?

Cloud landed on his feet in between the four fountains of Varrock surrounded by the bodies of black knights who were killed earlier that day. "Tch, clean up your messes Zezima" Dys commented on the mess in Varrock.

"Cloud how could you live in a shithole like this?" Enigma asked.

"THIS SHITHOLE WAS ONCE A REALLY NICE PLACE ASSHOLE!" Cloud said in rage.

"Hey, chill Clodsky, you know he was just fuckin' around..." Dys tried to play referee. Cloud looked to the sky; the sky seemed to turn a pale gray as the time ticked by. "What the hell is happening to Varrock? Is it just me or does it seem like there's more changing than us putting more bodies here than usual" Dys asked.

"There's definitely something odd going on here" Cloud commented.

"Well fuck you guys, can we get back to business?" Enigma instructed. Enigma led them to the manhole cover.

"Ugh, I haven't been here since I was young" Cloud remarked. Dys pushed the manhole cover to the side and began scaling down the ladder. The other two followed quickly as they reached the dirt floor, they heard the squeaks of mice running wildly around the floor. Cloud led the two east a few yards as they reached the wall they looked frantically for some sort of way to open this 'panel' that Novalyfe spoke of.

Dys looked at the wall closely but saw nothing peculiar. "You sure we're at the right spot Clodsky?" he asked.

"Yeah, look" Cloud answered as he pushed a brick in the wall inwards and the sound of shifting stone caught their attention as the wall shook and dirt fell from the ceiling above them. The wall finally moved to the side creating a passage they could walk through lit by torches. "Convenient eh?" Clodsky said as he led them through the passage. Cloud passed several suits of armor covered in the markings of the gods, Zamorak, Saradomin, and Guthix. The passage finally opened into a large, quaint little hexagonal room with 3 sets of runite armor, and a steel door on the other side of the room. Cloud instinctively walked to the door and pushed it, but the door opened for a mere moment then slammed quickly pushing him back and knocking him down. "What the fuck? A door with an attitude now?" Cloud mocked the crazy door.

"Enigma, you do see what I see right?" Dys asked.

Enigma looked over at the set of Guthix rune, "Yeah, I really didn't know unknown gods had armors to represent them and try to kill us to gain some popularity".

Dys looked back at Cloud, "Any suggestions?"

Cloud pulled the Dragon 2-Hander from his back and jumped into a battle stance, "Yeah, stand and fight!" he pronounced as he jumped and stabbed his Dragon 2h into the Zamorak Runite's Plate but bounced off, landing on his back he took a moment to recover almost being decapitated by the Rune 2h that the Zamorakian armor was wielding. "FUCK! Little help here?!" Cloud proclaimed jumping backwards as the 2h came closer and closer to hitting him.

Meanwhile Enigma had managed to toy with the Guthix armor. Enigma would cast a quick blast of ice barrage and run up and take the Rune Scimitar from the armor. "Aw how you gonna fight me if you got no weapon to beat me down with little cutie?" Enigma mocked the armor. But Guthix would not stand for such impudence and quickly bum rushed him shattering the Guthix Helm but knocking the wind out of Enigma, and it quickly reached down for its Scimitar and raised it to finish him when Cloud jumped backwards and coincidentally landed on the Guthix armor's back he jumped up in the air and the Zamorak armor destroyed the Guthix armor with one foul blow of its 2h.

At the same time Dys was fighting Saradomin's armor in a halberd fight except the armor was wielding a kiteshield while still using the halberd. "Damn, this bastard's cheating I swear" Dys muttered to himself as he stuck the halberd blade in the air and pushed himself into the air, pulling the blade out and spinning into a somersault cutting the Saradomin Helm in half but at the same time he couldn't keep his balance and fell to the ground and the Saradomin's Halberd nearly impaled him but merely cut his Dragonhide Body a slight bit. "HEY! THIS IS MY ONLY SET OF THIS SHIT" Dys exclaimed while he ran at the Saradomin armor and impaled the platebody and flung it towards the door. While the armor 'attempted' to recover, Dys ran towards it and impaled it again into the door, he left the blade inside the armor as he let go of the halberd, pulled out his Magic Shortbow and shot it a few times with Rune arrows causing the armor to incinerate. "You guys done yet?" Dys asked the others while they fumbled with the Zamorakian armor.

"Dys if you're so good, how about you take this one too?" Enigma offered.

"...But then you wouldn't be doing EVERYTHING, remember?" Dys reminded Enigma.

Cloud got sick of toying with the armor and finally ducked the armor's 2h, grabbed the handle, spun a 360, threw the 2h across the room after the 180, finished his spin and incinerated the armor with a strong shot from his Dragon 2h. Cloud ran towards the door and shoulder rushed it, knocking it off its hinges. "OW I BROKE MY HINGES!" Cloud panicked.

"Clodsky... you don't have hinges..." Enigma reminded him.

"Oh yeah! I guess that was the door" Cloud ran through the door into the dimly lit cavern. Passing many cobwebs and ancient artifacts resembling the symbols of the gods, Cloud and party finally reached a large open room; daylight was creeping in from a gaping hole in the ceiling of the room. Across the room was a Zamorak High Priest, his crimson red robes draped over him loosely and his staff of Zamorak was clearly well crafted, and he wore an unknown amulet, but resembled Zamorak's unholy symbol. "YOU! You were the one Nova spoke of! Why have you taken bribes from Zezima to make attempts on our lives?" Cloud demanded answers.

The High Priest raised his Unholy Book from the prayer altar and turned towards the trio, "Nova has misinformed you. Whatever you feel you can do by killing me, is not true and will only end in futile bloodshed. Your deaths are inevitable, and even if you kill me where I stand, the black dragons approach from the south as we speak. I command them in case you didn't pick up that much" the priest explained.

"Guess I don't have time to waste then asshole" Dys stated as he pulled the Mage Shortbow from his back and quickly drew the Rune arrow back and shot him in the head.

"...Wow, Nova really did underestimate us if he thought we couldn't take THAT guy" Enigma laughed. Enigma quickly ran up to the priest and stabbed his Dragon dagger into his face. "For good measure bitch!" he proclaimed. Then the sounds of claws crackling along the tattered and broken tiles of a civilization's past began to surround them. "...Run quickly! The black dragons are still approaching from the south, nearing our position the longer we wait" Cloud proclaimed as he tore the Zamorak amulet from the dead High Priest's neck.

"How quickly could one of those things move in a cramped cave like this?" Enigma asked as he claimed the priest's staff of Zamorak.

"More than quick enough" Dystridev spoke softly, picked up his crystal bow then proceeded to shoot a mithril grapple hook through a conveniently placed hole in the ceiling of the cave. "Come on, follow me" he instructed as he began scaling the wall upwards.

"Come on Dys, hurry up!" Enigma yelled.

"Yeah, I got a bad feeling about this" Cloud said in concern.

Dystridev finally reached the surface, "Okay guys, move quick; the black dragons are tearing Varrock apart!"

"Shhhi-" Enigma was interrupted by the screeching roar of a black dragon scout that had spotted them. "Move Clodsky, move!" he yelled in a panic. Cloud sped up going up the rope frantically and rolled onto the surface. Enigma quickly followed just in time to see dragon breath scorch through the hole and incinerate the grapple hook along with the rope.

"Ruuuuun!!!" Dystridev commanded as he yanked the Dragon halberd from his back and quickly decapitated the black dragon scout that was attempting to fly out of the hole and attack them. Dystridev hastily made a 180 and started running behind Cloud and Enigma. Throwing his halberd on his back, he grabbed his crystal bow and began firing at the dragons above Varrock.

"What're you crazy?" Enigma said, still traumatized from his close encounter. "The second they decide to fight back, we're all dead!"

"Well, you can be heartless and let them all die but I refuse to let the innocents die needlessly. We pissed the black dragons off and it's our responsibility to take care of the problem. Now it's up to you; you can turn and run now or you can stand by me and fight". Dystridev looked at Cloud, "The same goes for you as well, turn and run, or stay and fight".

Cloud looked down at the grass, thought for a moment, then looked back at Dystridev, "I'm with you; I won't allow my hometown to be slaughtered just because we needed to kill a High Priest of Zamorak. It's simply a waste of their lives and it is our responsibility to clean up our mess". Cloud pulled the Dragon 2-hander from his back and looked to Enigma.

"Ugh, you all are stupid" Enigma said in frustration, clenching the staff of Zamorak in his right hand. "Okay, here are some anti-dragonfire potions, use them sparingly as they need to last". Enigma handed them both a potion.

Reaching the south gate of Varrock they spot 4 dead guards scorched and clawed, sprawled by the guard house. Looking up, they see the black dragons flying away. Dystridev looked down in disappointment, "Dammit, we were too late..."

"Maybe the dragons were retreating?" Enigma said in hope with a dumb smirk on his face.

Dystridev punched Enigma in the arm for his comment. "Do you see survivors!?" he asked in anger.

Enigma rubbed his arm "...no... I was just trying--"

Cloud cut him off, "My hometown is in ruin, I don't wanna hear it. They're dead, all of them, if only we'd been more like Dys, we might've saved them".

Dystridev turned his back on them, "It's not like it was out of courage; I was merely trying to make up for my allowing of the Khazard massacre".

Enigma was confused, "Wha?"

Cloud had the same look of confusion, "Dys, what the hell are you talking about? You? The Khazard massacre? How?"

Dystridev turned back around and took a deep breath, "Okay, about a year ago I worked for General Khazard in his private guard, the ones who guard Port Khazard and Khazard's little fight arena. Well anyway, the day of the massacre, a mutiny broke out shortly before the occurrence because of his sadistic treatment of his P.O.W.s. Anyway, me, and a few others killed the general and his troops went into anarchy. Shortly afterwards, we went back to free the P.O.W.s to find them all mutilated. Nobody's quite sure exactly what happened that day, but the massacre isn't exactly something I like to think about".

"Shut up Dys, suck it up. Don't complain about your post-traumatic stress disorder in the heat of battle" Enigma said ignoring the seriousness of the issue.

"Heh, had no idea Dys" Cloud nodded to him. Cloud frowned at his decrepit town's downfall, "How could they do this..." he trailed off as an unknown mage appeared in the distance, walking from the square towards them.

"Dys!" ?? yelled to the group.

"? No way. Bloody boy?" Dys cheerfully greeted his old friend.

"Long time no see. I see you've met Varrock's unwanted guests. But I assume I'm a little late" Bloodwarrior said.

"Dys, who's your butt buddy?" Enigma asked him.

"Shut the fuck up Enigma, he's a friend from the Khazard times. He goes by the name Bloodwarrior" Dys introduced him.

"Yeah, you can just call me Blood of course" he smiled to the group.

"Blood, these 2 are some random allies I've gotten accustomed to being with in the last few days, D2H boy is Cloud, and 'Mr. I'm so fucking cool with my tiny ass dick' is Enigma" Dys introduced them.

Enigma fell on the ground, "What the fuck, Dys you're a bastard".

"Good fight sir" Dys ridiculed him.

"So Blood, why have you come to Varrock in such a dire situation?" Cloud asked.

"I'm with Falador's army, and I was instructed to see what was happening here. Apparently Varrock's military has all shifted into the wilderness. Intelligence believes that Zezima's building a fortress in the wilderness now. And that the military will be like his own personal guard" Blood explained.

"Shit. So you're telling me that... basically... we're fucked?" Enigma asked.

"No dumb shit, he's saying that anyone who has the balls and the courage should get something together to start making attacks on them before they're finished setting up camp" Dys clarified.

"And HOW do you expect US to do that huh smart ass?" Enigma ridiculed Dys' plan.

"Well, you see, the first step, is to stop asking STUPID QUESTIONS!" Dys yelled at him.

Cloud stepped in, "Seriously, must you guys argue so much? Blood, what's the plan?"

"Falador is requesting help from any and all allies willing to give such help. I was about to pay good ol' Bostonjoe a visit, would you all be interested in joining me in a journey to Rellekka?" Blood offered.

"Yeah, sure I'm game. And if I'm game, that means these other two retards will come with me" Enigma told him.

"Wow, look who's calling who the retards when he has his cape on his HEAD like a HOOD" Cloud mocked Enigma.

Blood held out his lyre, "All of you hold on, I'll teleport us to Rellekka". They all held the lyre and were instantaneously teleported to the Fremmenik Province.


	5. Drunken Tales of a Fremmenik

Chapter 4

Drunken Tales of a Fremmenik

The Fremmenik Province was a beautiful, yet rather primitive location to live; surrounded by trees and wildlife, it seemed almost perfectly peaceful here. The sounds and sights of war had yet to scar the landscape. "You said you're looking for a warrior here?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, it's surprising I know but Fremmeniks are all warriors" Blood explained to him. They approached a long tavern and noticed a rough looking man drinking kegs of beer, "Boston, can you put a keg down for like... five minutes to talk to your old friend Blood?" Blood greeted him.

Boston looked at Blood and his posse of people, "Yersh, I camn conshitter bean nuh...nuh...nuh...ICE enufsh toodoo someshingth shthat" (forgets what he's saying) "joo shpit een mysh KEG BISH".

"...What?" Cloud was speechless and clueless at the same time.

"Seriously... translation?" Dys asked.

"Um, he's too fucked up" Enigma stated. Boston threw the keg at Enigma crushing him. "OW!" Enigma yelled out as the keg landed on him.

"MEESH nawt fOOKd OOP" Boston told them as he shook Blood's hand and threw him to the ground.

"What the fuck did he do that for?" Cloud asked.

"Ugh... old Fremmenik greeting" Blood told him.

"Whatsh joo cometh hersh shfor, Shfblood?" Boston slurringly asked Blood.

"Um, we came here for reinforcements; Varrock has gone rogue; Zezima's taking camp in the wilderness and we need as much help as we can in order to defeat their army and finish Zezima off" Blood elucidated.

Boston looked at Blood oddly, "Sheshma vants an vorder shuv wyld ann mill shfeets?"

"...This dude's on crack" Enigma muttered under his breath as he pushed the keg off him finally.

"JOO AR SHVAWN TEH FCRACKLE SHFOOKIN SHFOOK SHMOOK!" Boston sputtered off as he passed out on the table.

"...Nice..." Blood laughed at Boston. "Okay, I'll stay here to make sure we finish up here; the Falador elites head out tonight and the rest of the military moves out early in the morning, so be prepared by dawn to head for battle if you all are going to join us" Blood instructed.

"Yessir" Dys understood and turned to Cloud and Enigma. "So what do we do in the mean time?" Dys asked.

Cloud kicked Enigma in the shin, "Dude, that's a potential ally you almost fucked up a serious situation with. Now chill the fuck out".

Cloud gave the Ecto-Guard his two ecto tokens and passed the barrier that divided Port Phasmatys from the fabled ectofuntus. He gazed around at all the ghostly figures and said "Yep, he's here I think." Enigma and Dys followed him through the barrier as they stepped to his side.

Enigma gave a shudder "Why would anyone in their right mind want to live in a creepy place like this?"

Cloud chuckled at Enigma's fear of the area and replied "I really don't know, but he lives here. We'll just have to find out where." Dystridev felt curious about the reality of the ghosts, so he decided to poke one with his halberd. He takes it and pokes it, and the ghost suddenly flips out. "Woo Woooooo WOOOOO!!!!" (Just because I'm a ghost doesn't mean you get to FUCKING POKE ME MOTHER FUCKER!)

Dys ignored the wooing of the ghost and stabbed it harder. "Hey don't you woo at me! We don't take kindly to your wooing around here nub!"

Cloud stepped between the angry ghost and his rambunctious teammate "Dys, we're not here to poke the ghosties. I recommend you stop before we cause a racism incident." He walked up to the ghost and started appearing to woo at it. "Heh, Keri taught me that when I used to come over for dinner. Lets go see if he's home."

Cloud started walking away and Dys followed with Enigma. He stopped at a ramshackle building that looked as if it should have been torn down years ago. He knocked on the door, and they waited. A man answered the door, and pulled Cloud into an embrace. "Hello Keri, how ya been old friend?" Cloud inquired. Keri was Cloud's old friend from when he was a child.

"So Cloud, care to join Kat and I for lunch?" Keri asked. Kat is Keri's adopted mother, and an upstanding woman. Her hair was beginning to gray in places, but she was still as lively as ever it appeared. Keri motioned the trio into the house, and closed the door behind them.

They went into the dining room, and took 4 places at the table. Cloud figured it would be best to not beat around the bush, and decided to simply tell Keri about the desperate circumstances, and see if he was willing to help. "Keri, the world is at war, and Zezima is taking over. A few of us are fighting back, but we need help to defeat his massive armies. Would you like to assist us in the battles to come?"

Keri leaned back in his chair, and fell. Keri rolled right back up into his chair and chuckled, "Man, I'm still a dumbass, but besides that, onto my story. Kat is with me, because her home in Falador was destroyed by Zezima's forces, slaughtering her family in the process. I invited her to stay with me after the fact, and when I'd heard what happened to her family, and how inhumane Zezima's ambitions were, I knew I had to do something; I just didn't know who I could go to. Then go figure, you come knocking on my door. I'd be honored to help my old friend in the hardships to come." Cloud seemed relieved to hear this, when Kat walked in with the sandwiches.

"Oh my, Cloud, how you've grown! I haven't seen you in almost 7 years. You look like you've had many adventures since you used to come eat dinner with Keri and I here. How are you doing dear?" She sets the sandwiches on the table, having made more so Cloud, Dys, and Enigma could eat as well.

Dys turned away and pushed the plate forward, "I'll pass. Keri, did you say Falador was attacked?"

Keri nodded, "Yes, I had to go retrieve Kat myself to guarantee her passage out of Falador safely".

"Shit!" Dys sputtered out as he quickly jumped out of his chair and ran out the door, "I'll catch up with you guys later, I have something to attend to".

Enigma raised an eyebrow, "What was that about? Oh well, more food for me". Enigma moved the plate over towards him and began to eat.

Cloud finished his sandwich, and turned towards Kat "Thanks for the food; we've been fine all except for Zezima ruining Gielnor from the inside out. He's killed Varrock's king, and turned my home into a training ground for his powerful army. I hear he keeps his real fortress in the wilderness, where the Rogues' Castle used to be. We're planning to storm it tomorrow, we're gonna attempt to end it all right there. Other than that, I've been great, I've made new friends, had adventures, and laughed my ass off in general hehe."

Kat smiled at Cloud's youthfulness "I'm glad the wretched turn of events hasn't dampened your powerful spirit. You boys will succeed, I'm sure of it. Anyone who can look at the events as of late and still have laughter left in them has hope indefinitely."

Enigma wiped a tear from his eye from Kat's inspiring speech and looked to Cloud "Dude, what should we do now?"

Kat took the dishes away "Maybe you boys should take a boat to Mos Le'Harmless and try to recruit some hot headed warriors to your cause."

"Then, it sounds like that's the plan" Cloud agreed. Cloud signaled to leave, and Keri and Enigma immediately stood up. "We'll depart now, there's not a moment to waste" Cloud said with confidence, and with that they quickly ran out the door and towards the port.

Dys had been walking for what felt like hours now, as thousands of thoughts slid in and out of his head, thinking of what has happened and what he'd expect to find once he even arrived at Falador. He was just now passing Draynor Manor and could smell the stench of death and smoke... but only to realize the smoke was still coming from the smoldering outer walls of Falador Castle. "Dammit, he was right, ugh" Dys muttered to himself as he ran as fast as he could to his burning home.

As he approached the castle walls, Dys noticed a few soldiers approaching him. "Hail Zezima!" they yelled as they chucked spears at Dys.

"What the fuck?" Dys wondered as he calmly walked a few steps to the side to dodge the spears. "What gives you the impression that you actually have a chance of beating me? I'm curious what drives fools to their deaths" Dys pulled the Dragon dagger from his boot and walked slowly up to the guards. The leading soldier charged at Dystridev, pulling the Rune battleaxe from his side and swinging it hastily at Dys, but Dys ducked under the blade with ease and slit the soldier's throat with a quick flick. Then, the remaining two soldiers attempted to flank him, while seeing this, Dys quickly through his Dragon dagger at one, but he quickly ricocheted it away with his Rune scimitar and the other attempted to gore him with his Dragon spear. Dys stepped back at the last second, carelessly allowing the Dragon spear (super poisoned) to graze his side but impaling the opposite soldier with it, "Nice work, dumbass, killing your own guy" Dys said as he snatched the Rune scimitar from the impaled soldier and decapitated the remaining soldier without hesitation. Dystridev dropped the Rune scimitar on the ground and finally took the time to notice the small cut across his ribs, but ignored it, "Just a flesh wound" and continued towards the White Knights' Castle

Dys finally reached the bridge to the castle interior when felt the whip cut his flesh, "Ack" he screamed out in pain. Dystridev rolled forward and turned a 180 to see his opponent. He was astonished at the sight he saw, a girl clad in Saradomin plate body, plate skirt, a Santa hat covering only the top of her long black hair, a Rune defender, Cape of Legends, Climbing boots, an amulet of strength, and an Abyssal whip. "TURCO?!" Dys exclaimed.

"...and WHO may I ask are you?" she asked.

Dys looked away, a tad embarrassed, "Erm... the name is Dystridev? I enlisted in the white knights months ago..? We went and completed a few missions together..? Wow, am I that unmemorable?"

"Oh yeah, you're that newbie to the knights who I kept getting stu-- er, partnered up with. What's brought you back here? Zezima's forces have already trampled us, and where were you? You're a reserve soldier! Desertion is punishable by death!" Turco scolded him.

"...I had OTHER matters to attend to, I'm SORRY I couldn't be here to make sure YOUR pretty little ass wouldn't get your hands dirty!?" Dys shot back.

They both growled at each other and stared one another down until they both realized neither one was going to back down, "Ugh, in any case, why did you bother coming back?" Turco asked once again, more politely.

"What do you expect me to do, desert everyone? This is my home, and I dedicated my services to the White Knights, I have no intention of backing out, I just had no way of knowing that anything happened here. You can't blame me for my lack of information. And why are you the only one I've seen since I've gotten back?" Dys questioned.

Turco scratched the back of her neck, "Well, you see, by the time word of the attack, they had already passed the castle walls. Zezima planned his attack well, judging by the reaction time of our own forces, I'd say he had managed to get spies in on our side of the walls before hand, in order to prevent word from spreading. From there, he'd already have a predetermined frontline within the walls of our castle before his main force would even arrive; in essence, it was a flank from inside and outside. Our forces were quickly overwhelmed, the only reason I'm still with the living is, I was selected to protect the citizens of the castle. They never found our hiding place, and ever since I've been doing rounds to make sure all the forces have left. I had heard some commotion earlier, so I was under the impression there were more left" she explained.

"Uh... yeah, there were, I dealt with them" Dys nodded, then recoiled and clenched his wound, "Yeah, well, would you like some help finishing up the clean up job?" he offered.

"You're injured?" Turco approached him and crouched down next to him.

"Meh, it's just a flesh wound, it's nothing, really" Dys told her, but inside he knew the pain was getting worse. He thought to himself, "Damn, if I don't get this poison taken care of soon, I might be in some real danger, but where am I gonna find a medicinal healer in a town like this?"

Turco shoved him down, "A wounded soldier is as good as dead, so since you're so insistent on helping, I'm taking care of it whether you want me to or not". She hastily moved his hand off the wound and placed it over his mouth, "This will probably hurt a bit, so feel free to bite down on that" she warned him. Turco pulled an Antipoison from her hat and poured it over the wound, "Now it should be healing up quite well from here on out, and the effects of that poison should be gone in no time" she smiled lightly, trying to boost his morale.

Dys bit down on his hand, yelping in his mind at the intense burning effects of the Antipoison running through his veins, but could only manage to mutter, "Turco, you think you could perhaps MOVE!?"

"Hmph, last time I help YOU out then, 'Mr. Ungrateful'" Turco replied. She stood up and grabbed his wrist and pulled him up, "You can walk still, right? I only gave you a little love tap on the back, so I hope you don't expect me to believe that it hurt".

Dys was getting irritated very quickly with this girl, who although was his superior, was in no way, going to gain his respect this way, "Turco, you WHIPPED ME. IN THE BACK. IT FUCKING HURT".

"Aw, is that all your capable of? Complaints? Do you need a hug?" she mocked him.

"It couldn't hurt..." Dys flirted.

"Oh please, dream on kid, I would never consider something below me, to even have a chance. In any case, this isn't the time; enough wasting time, back to business" Turco shot him down. Dys nodded then motioned for her to follow.

After walking for a few minutes, the two had spotted 10 soldiers standing by the north gate of Falador. "Well, any suggestions?" Dys asked, but by the time he turned to her to get a response, she was already running towards them, "Jeez, impulsive much?"

Once Turco reached the soldiers she realized the grave mistake she'd just made, "Oh, son of a--" she muttered as she began to turn and run the other way.

Turco ran past Dys, "? Why are you running, Turco?" Dys yelled, and then turned to see the approaching platoons of soldiers, approximately 100 or so. "Ah, so it's a fight they want, eh? Well, no point in running, that doesn't take care of the problem, and we don't have time to make mistakes" he pulled the halberd from his back and stuck it in the ground in front of him, then pulled the Magic short bow from his back and began to fire off Rune arrows, as quickly as he could, trying to dwindle their numbers. "Gotta make every second count" Dys continued to tell himself, and finally, he realized, "FUCK!" Dys was out of arrows. He threw the Magic short bow to the side and pulled the Dragon halberd out of the ground, "Then I guess I'm stuck with a good ol' 30 on 1 fight, oh well, fun odds" he reassured himself sarcastically.

Turco looked back to see Dys, halberd in hand, awaiting the 30ish soldiers left coming towards him, she knew to run, but part of her screamed "Help him!" and before she knew it, she was running up behind him and slashing a soldier to death.

"Nice of you to show up, miss" Dys nodded to her as he impaled two soldiers on his halberd and flung them towards the others, knocking them about.

Turco flicked her whip around the ankle of one and flicked it back towards her so quickly the soldier's leg was completely decimated, "Well, I couldn't let you have ALL the fun".

"Pssh, I think you just missed me" he winked playfully as he blocked a soldier's oncoming Dragon longsword attack and kicked the soldier in the stomach, stepped forward stabbed the blade of the halberd into his foot, jumped over the halberd landing on the soldier's head, and front flipped off of him with the halberd blade as his momentum, killing 6 more from assorted severed limbs.

"I think you're just full of yourself" she smiled back to him as she grabbed one by the throat, wrapped the whip around his torso, and pulled back, letting the blades cut through his torso like a chainsaw blade. She cracked her whip on the ground flinging the last victim's blood into the eyes of the other soldiers, and Turco took advantage, pulled her Dragon dagger from her waist, cut the throat of one, stabbed another in the abdomen, and spun to her left stabbing a another in the spine.

The remaining 16 soldiers quickly realized the strength the two warriors had and surrounded them. Back to back Dys and Turco were starting to feel the pressure move down on them, "Well, think we can take 'em?" Dys nudged her lightly.

"Yeah, if you don't hold me back" Turco nudged him back. She instinctively decided to lower their numbers with as little effort as possible, so she threw her Dragon dagger into the head of a soldier. "Running out of options here, Dys-ey, any ideas?"

"...1st of all, if you call me Dys-ey again, you're dead, 2nd of all, yeah, it's called you just duck down real quickly, and wait 'til it's done" Dys replied. Turco didn't know what he had planned, but for some reason she trusted him, so she ducked down. Dys dropped the halberd, "Okay, we surrender" he raised his hands in the air and whispered very lightly to her, "Stay down... trust me". The soldiers approached, enclosing the circle around them; the soldiers instinctively put down their guards and went to reach towards Dys and Turco. Dys hastily jumped towards the halberd and spun it above his head in a 360, cutting the remaining guard in half. "Well, can't say I didn't handle it, right?" Dys smirked.

Turco put her index finger on his lips, "Maybe you're not so useless after all, but I'd watch that mouth if I were you, you might get what's coming to you". She smiled, "Well, it's been fun, really it has, but now thanks to you, the people are safe to come out now, I must tell them the news".

Dys looked away for a moment, then back at her, "Wait, I'll go with you, I have a favor to ask, and that'll give us time for discussion on the way there".

Turco nodded, "Fine, you've got my ears open, after a performance like that, I guess you deserve a moment of my time". The two walked towards the Falador Gem Shop to where the citizens were all holed up in the basement of that small shop.


	6. Clodsky's Fears and Piratiers

Chapter 5

Clodsky's Fears & Piratiers

Cloud and Enigma paid the sailor five thousand gold coins for the trip to Mos Le'Harmless. Cloud boarded the rickety plank onto the ship and leaned up against the wall, he didn't enjoy the smell of alcohol coming from below deck, so he stayed on deck to enjoy the smell of the salty sea air. Enigma joined Cloud on deck because he found the sailors to be awkwardly friendly. They could hear the cursing of the sailors below deck; Clodsky looked at Enigma, "Hey, Enigma, I think I hear your dad calling".

"Ah fuck you, Clodsky" Enigma shot back.

"See? I can see the family resemblance already!" Clodsky responded.

"Remind me why we're heading to this mostly harmless place, again?" Enigma asked.

"It's called Mos Le'Harmless, Eduncema, and we're here to attempt recruiting some pirate meat heads to fight in the war for us, dedede" Clodsky mocked Enigma.

"First of all, what makes you think a pirate would help us? Second of all, did you just say dedede? Are you on crack?" Enigma grabbed Clodsky and shook him vigorously.

Clodsky nearly puked, "STOP! I get motion sickness, jerk!" he stumbled to turn around and puke overboard.

"Oh suck it up, pussy" Enigma scolded Clodsky. "If Dys were here, he'd make you puke it ALL up, for doing that" Enigma said as Clodsky puked up more of the sandwiches from earlier.

Clodsky turned back after a short while of puking and looked at Enigma, "IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN, YOU'RE DEAD" Clodsky yelled at him.

Silence passed for a few minutes until Enigma broke the silence, asking Cloud a serious question, "Clodsky… even if we do beat Zezima's massive army… he's still the strongest person in Gielnor. How do we expect to beat him?"

Cloud looked to the sky, watching seagulls fly past overhead, "Well, Enigma, I don't know what to tell you, all I know is, I'll try my hardest. Even if I have to fight him all by myself, I'll do whatever it takes to win" Cloud said with a confident tone.

Enigma didn't look too reassured, "Whatever, Clodsky…" he sputtered off as he heard the sailors randomly shouting out obscenities along with the usual "Land ho!" and he quickly turned around to see land in the distance. "LOOK CLODSKY! I LOST MY VIRGINITY!" Enigma yelled out.

Clodsky looked at Enigma with wide eyes, "WHAT!?"

"Well that got your attention, didn't it? Look, land!" Enigma said in excitement as he pointed to the island.

Clodsky lost his lunch even more as he watched Enigma bounce up in exhilaration. "Damn you, Enigma. Stop making me lose my meals, I'm already skinny enough" Clodsky scolded him.

The sailors quickly ran out from below decks to drop anchor, and prepare to disembark. As they ran past, Enigma and Cloud could sense their anticipation of returning to land. Cloud eagerly jumped off the ship and leaped a good ten feet or so, landing on the sand and kissed the ground. "Uh, Clodsky, are you okay?" Enigma asked him.

Cloud wiped his mouth clean of the sand, "Boy, am I glad to see you!" he said to the ground as he flipped off Enigma.

Enigma hopped off the boat and kicked Cloud in the shin to make him get up faster and started running towards the town.

Cloud led Enigma to the local pub, 'Mostly Harmless Liquors', and entered cautiously, the bartender raised an eyebrow at Enigma when he walked inside and sat at a stool, "Aren't you a li'l young to be drinkin' liquor, boy? This ain't fruit juice ya know, aye?" He went back to wiping glasses with a rag that looked as if it hadn't seen water in ten years.

"I'm not here for a drink, we're here on business, tell 'em Clodsky." Enigma replied to the man.

Cloud walked up to the bartender and slipped him five thousand gold pieces, "You'll tell us who the leader of the pirates around here is, won't you sir?" Cloud asked politely knowing he played the man well.

The man looked at the gold greedily, then back at Cloud. "Sure thing, he's sitting in the back, his name's Patch".

Cloud walked to the back of the bar and sat down in front of a middle-aged looking, balding man, with an eye patch, and asked, "Are you Patch?"

The man pulled the eye patch off and looked at Cloud with both eyes, "Aye, that be me, matey. Why would a land lubber such as yourself be seekin' such information?"

Cloud looked sternly at Patch, "We request the help of your pirates to help fight Zezima in a great battle tomorrow"

"Zezima!? Are you insane?" Patch stood up from his seat and exclaimed.

Enigma stood up next to Patch and put a hand on his shoulder pushing him back down into his seat, "If you raise your voice at him again, I'll make that eye patch do what it's made to do" he threatened him.

"Tch, you can't threaten a pirate, fool, but I like your spirit" Patch responded. "How about a proposition; you earn my respect, and then we'll gladly help your cause" he offered.

"What exactly must we do? What do you want? Money? Power?" Cloud asked.

"Simply a pirate's test; a game of sorts, a game of skill and cunning" Patch indulged their curiosity.

"Enough with the riddles and out with the straight talk" Enigma insisted.

"Steal a pirate's ship, in any method you can use. Don't let anyone find out you did it, and bring it back here. Only you two can do it, no others, and you must use a certain row boat to get there" he points to a row boat outside the bar. "Oh, and one last thing, those weapons, hand them over" Patch holds out his hands.

"For what?" Enigma asked.

"Watch out…." Cloud told him as he drops the Dragon Two-Hander into Patch's hands but Patch quickly fell onto the table, stumbling to hold it.

"He told you to watch out, dunce" Enigma mocked him as he threw the whip at Patch.

Enigma and Cloud walked out of the bar, picked up the row boat, and headed to the water. When they got to the water Cloud groaned dishearteningly at the water, "Damn water…" he moaned. Enigma laughed at him, and threw a thermos at him, "What's in this?" Clodsky asked as he opened the lid and sniffed the foul smelling contents.

"Dog shit. Naw, I'm just screwing with ya, it's a natural concoction" Enigma said as he looked away for a moment, then looked back at the boat. "It should help with your motion sickness, after all, throwing up won't help us complete our mission" Enigma reassured him.

Cloud chugged the contents of the thermos, pushed the row boat into the water and jumped into it with Enigma.

The duo rowed for a good twenty minutes until they saw a pirate ship in the distance with their black skull flag waving menacingly. Enigma stopped rowing, threw his oar into the water quietly, and pulled a giant brown tarp out of his pocket, "For emergencies".

"…" Cloud was speechless. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you had that in the first place?" Cloud was outraged.

"You never asked" Enigma replied snootily. He quickly threw the tarp over the two and let the boat drift towards the pirate ship.

After a few minutes passed, they felt the row boat hit the ship with a loud clunk. "Hey, what was that?" a pirate questioned as he looked down and jumped onto the boat. Cloud quickly hopped up from his position and swung the oar like a baseball bat and shattered the pirate's ribs with a crushing blow to the chest and flung him into the ocean. Instantly a dagganoth king's head rose from the ocean depth's and swallowed the man, pulling him under and disappearing into the blue.

"Wow, that looked like fun" Enigma laughed.

"That should've been you" Clodsky glared at Enigma. They climbed up the side of the ship and Enigma yawned loudly. The entire crew looked at them, hearing the yawn and raised their weapons. "Shit. Good job, Enigma" Cloud smacked Enigma upside the head.

Enigma glared back at Cloud, "You're a dick". Enigma casted ice barrage while still looking at Cloud and killed all the pirates, "What? They were pissing me off… so I killed them" Enigma stated simply.

"That was definitely overkill…….." Cloud said saddened by the deaths of twenty or so innocent pirates.

Enigma looked at the sky, "Hey, Clodsky, it was either that, or we end up dag king food. Would you have preferred that? I can still make that an option for you, man" he said jokingly.

"Oh hush, fag" Cloud smacked him again and turned the ship around, heading back towards Mos Le'Harmless.

The return trip was much faster than the first and they arrived at the beach within minutes. They walked back to the 'Mostly Harmless Liquors' and found Patch at his usual spot, "It's been done" Enigma told him.

"The ship's at the port if you need to see it" Cloud assured him.

"Then, the pirates are at your disposal" Patch nodded. Patch handed their weapons back to them and punched Enigma in the face, then took his runes, "That's for killing my pirates".

"Ow… you didn't tell us that we had to kill certain pirates…" Enigma rubbed his cheek.

"Well, you might as well use your pirating skills and sail that ship back home, kids" Patch chuckled at them.

"Stupid pirate, I have more runes in the bank" Enigma laughed at Patch.

"Bank's closed numb nuts. It's being remodeled, dedede" Patch mocked Enigma.

"Shit…" Enigma muttered under his breath.

"Come on, Enigma, let's go, I have runes, let's mosey" Cloud said.

Patch punched Cloud in the stomach and took his runes too, "That's for feeding one to a dagganoth king".

"HOW'D YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" Enigma asked frightened by the man's knowledge.

"Ha, that's for me to know and you to wonder about forever" Patch said as he pointed towards the door, "Now scram".

The duo walked out in defeat, boarded their boat again and disembarked towards Port Phasmatys.

A few hours later Cloud had nearly fallen asleep when all of a sudden "Poke" he opened his eyes to see a female pirate standing over him. She had blue pigtails, wore a black pirate's hat, a blue striped shirt, and blue pantalones. "The piratiers have commandeered this vessel, matey" She told Cloud.

"Ugh, you have the worst timing, honey" Enigma flirted, "Could we just get off at the port and you can keep the ship? I could stay and 'service' you three as well, if you'd prefer".

Another female pirate approached him, wearing a black pirate ensemble, and smacked him upside the head, Cloud looked at her, "Thanks, I was gonna do that but I'm a little tied up" as the third female pirate, wearing a pink pirate ensemble, finished tying his hands behind him.

The black-clad pirate crouched down in front of Cloud, "Thanks for the sword, handsome" she said as she 'attempted' to lift the two-hander from him, but in vain, "What the hell is this made of? Granite?" she asked in frustration.

"That light thing? Oh, feathers" Cloud responded sarcastically as he broke the ropes behind him and pushed her down on her rear.

Enigma sat on the girl's lap and kissed her, "Thanks, bitch" he said as he shoved her down.

The three piratiers returned to their feet and regrouped in front of Enigma and Cloud. The three got in a formation and posed. The pink-clad pirate stood in the back on the left, making a 'V' shape with her arms towards the left. The black-clad pirate stood in the back on the right, making a 'V' shape with her arms towards the right. Then the blue-clad pirate stood in front and center, making an 'X' shape with her arms and legs.

"Nicole!" the pink-clad pirate yelled.

"Katie!" the black-clad pirate declared.

"Ann!" the blue-clad pirate shouted.

"We are—The Piratiers! ARG!" the three exclaimed simultaneously.

"…" Enigma looked at Cloud, "Who are these idiots?"

Cloud shrugged, "I don't know, but they're kind of cute"

"Clodsky… you're an idiot. You're always thinking with your dick, no wonder Dys likes your company" Enigma joked.

"HEY! We're standing right here!" Katie yelled at them.

"And…?" Enigma practically ignored them.

"And… you, matey, are going down" Nicole declared.

"And YOU, matey, are gonna be dagganoth chow!" Cloud said as he raised the dragon two-hander to his waist.

Ann raised her anchor to her waist and swung it at Enigma as she ran towards him and Enigma hopped to the side and tapped her on the shoulder, "I'm over here, honey" he teased.

Katie and Nicole rushed Cloud swinging their granite and obsidian mauls at him, but he ducked them and made them hit each other, toppling them to the ground. They quickly returned to their feet and Katie stood back as Nicole ran at Cloud, who was now tapping his foot on a plank as she approached. She swung her obsidian maul with a torrential amount of force but as she stepped onto the plank to move her momentum, Cloud applied hard pressure on the plank, flinging it upwards on her side, back flipping her onto her stomach in the cabin. Katie dashed towards him attempting to catch him off-guard and swung her granite maul as fast as she could, attempting to crush him in one blow, but he parried the blow and snatched the maul from her, and shoved her into the cabin. Before Cloud could close the cabin door, Katie threw a lasso at Cloud, catching the handle of his sword, and yanked it into the cabin. "Oh, forget it" he said in defeat as he shoved her back in the cabin, slammed the door shut and locked it.

Enigma blocked Ann's anchor with his scimitar, side stepped so he was side to side with her and hooked the blade under the curvature of the anchor. He started to push against it, attempting to pull the anchor from her hands but she kicked him in the back of the leg and swung the anchor at him when the opposing pressure gave in. He rolled to the side, barely dodging the slam of the anchor next to him, "Oh baby, harder, you didn't quite break the planks yet" he mocked her as he threw his dagger at her. She jumped to the side and spun, throwing her anchor at him. Enigma yawned and stepped on the anchor in mid-air, causing it to hit the ground quickly, "Next time I'll have to remember the condom so I don't have to pull out" he said as he approached her, pointing the blade of the scimitar towards her.

"Thanks for trying, girls, but you all are far too easy to be REAL pirates" Cloud insulted them. Ann muttered something incoherent under her breath as he shoved her into the cabin and locked it again.

Approximately fifteen minutes elapsed when the three Piratiers started whining, "We're hungry! Feed us! We're useful for… special things… if you feed us".

Enigma stared down at his crotch, "Shit"

"What?" Cloud looked at Enigma.

"I think I'm gonna feed them, I might never get laid otherwise" Enigma whimpered.

"Jeez, Enigma, when did you get so vain? And why do you think you'll never get laid?" Cloud asked.

"ZEZIMA WILL KILL US ALL! HE'LL KILL US ALL! HE'LL KILL US ALL!" Enigma rambled on, grabbing Cloud by the collar and shaking him vigorously.

Cloud smacked Enigma off of him and shoved him back, "Get a hold of yourself, you're acting like a fool".

Enigma quickly ran and opened the door with a tray of food in his arms. He looked around, seeing nothing, then everything went black, and he collapsed on the ground.

"Teehee, it looks like The Piratiers get the last laugh, after all" Ann declared as she pulled her anchor off of Enigma and pulled him to the back of the cabin.

_"Enigma sure has been gone a while" _Cloud thought to himself as he walked towards the cabin, _"Maybe he just got laid, like he had planned? Yeah, right, good luck with THAT"._ He opened the door and looked in and within moments hit the floor as well, blacked out.

"Wow, boys sure are easy to manipulate. I don't see why we didn't do that in the first place" Katie shrugged off their defeat and welcomed their new victory.

"So, mateys, shall we shove off to Port Sarim, and from there, to Falador for a quick plundering?" Ann offered.

Nicole nodded and took the wheel, "To Falador!"

"To Falador!" Katie agreed.

Dys leaned up against the wall, crossing his arms, and looking at the floor, "So now that it's safe, and Falador is running as planned, how exactly are we gonna come up with a formidable military force from Falador to help our cause now?"

Turco sat down on the glass case of gems and stared at him, "That'd be me, I guess".

"Gee, that's reassuring… seeing how I did most of the work as always" Dys sighed arrogantly.

"You could be a tad more appreciative, I did treat your wound after all" she remarked.

Dys looked at her, then back at the floor, and rubbed his wound lightly, "Yeah, yeah… thanks again" he shrugged her remark off.

"So then, I'll help you, but what exactly should I do…? I'm just one person" Turco pondered.

Dys smirked slightly, _"Sure, you can sit on my lap until all the troubles in the world melt away" _he thought to himself. "Eh, just stick with me until I figure out where my allies are and what we're planning to do with you" he answered.

She frowned and glanced at Dys, "Then Falador will be without any protection, is that really what you find acceptable?"

"Turco…" Dys stood up, walked over to her, and placed his hand on hers, "I wouldn't leave my hometown vulnerable, I'll make sure there's someone here defending the castle, but we need the real warriors such as yourself on the battlefield with us" he stared into her eyes with confidence.

Turco looked up at him, "For a measly initiate, you sure do have your bearings on the battlefield".

Dys walked sat down next to her, "I've got more field experience than you give me credit for, kid, and I never back down from a fight. I've yet to really lose one so far, so why start giving up now?"

"Such optimism from such a low ranked knight; it's unexpected" she commented.

"Maybe the others just don't have what it takes to survive on the battlefield, but I never lose" Dys nudged her lightly "Even to you".

"Oh now you're just overestimating yourself" Turco smiled and leaned in towards him slightly.

"Is that what you think?" Dys teased her, "Care to make a wager on that?"

"Sure, if you're ready to lose in under ten seconds" Turco served back and leaned in closer.

Dys instinctively leaned in towards her and closed his eyes… when suddenly they heard a loud crash outside. He opened his eyes suddenly and saw her doing the same; he couldn't help but blush, _"Stupid, stupid, __**stupid**__ fucker outside just ruined it. Way to mood kill us" _he thought to himself.

"Um… sorry" Turco blushed and turned away, still smiling slightly, but embarrassed still.

Dys stood up and walked outside only to see three female pirates and two large bags that wouldn't sit still. "Hey! What the hell are you three doing!?" Dys scolded them.

Ann walked up and backhanded him, "Shut your trap, land lubber" she commanded him.

Turco had walked out of the gem store just in time to see Dystridev get backhanded. "Who are you to hit a Falador White Knight?" Turco lectured Ann as she cracked the whip in front of her.

The three Piratiers regrouped in front of Turco and Dys and got in their formation. "We are—The Piratiers!" the three exclaimed simultaneously.

"…" Dys looked at Turco, and back at the goofy three pirates, "Who are these kids? Okay, honestly, I'll just make this quick" Dys walked towards the trio and threw his halberd to the side. "Alright, who's first, or perhaps you'd all like to try?" Dys confidently challenged the trio. Katie stepped onto Ann's shoulders and lunged at Dys but he easily turned and watched Katie land face first in the dirt. Nicole rushed at Dys next; she swung her obsidian maul with great velocity and connected with his Dragon dagger. Dys hooked the blade behind the blunt head of the maul, pulled it towards him, bringing her towards him, brought his knee into her stomach, and flipped her over his knee, dropping her on the ground, stomping his foot to her throat, he stopped to spare her life and looked to Ann, waiting on her retaliation. "Well, are you going to pose a challenge, unlike these two amateurs?" Dys ridiculed the first two.

Ann was determined to change the outcome of this fight; she refused to lose twice in one day. _"I have to try something different"_ she decided. Ann threw her anchor to the side and pulled her Dragon dagger from her waist. "If it's a challenge you want, then you'll die" she assured him.

"Heh, good, I like a challenge" Dys smirked as he stood with his arms at his side, waiting on her move.

Ann rushed towards Dys and threw her dagger at him. He parried the blow with ease but she pulled another dagger from her waist and managed to catch him off-guard, jabbing the blade into his abdomen.

Dys was speechless, he looked down at the blade penetrating his flesh and smirked, "About time somebody managed to hit me" he snickered as he threw her to the ground and put the blade to her throat, "But that's not nearly enough to beat me, kid". Dys looked away from the three Piratiers on the ground and to the sacks. "So, what's in the bags, my female friends?" Dys interrogated them.

"We'll never tell!" Katie resisted.

"…I can just LOOK. It's not like you can really stop me when you're on the ground, miss" Dys laughed slightly at her foolishness. He approached the sacks, crouched down and sliced them open quickly with his dagger, only to see Cloud and Enigma emerge from the sacks. "Well about FUCKING TIME! Where the FUCK have you two been!?" Dys welcomed them back.

"…Well you see, fucktard, we were doing the HARD work, while you're sitting over here trying to get laid" Enigma explained.

"…Enigma, shut up, you were trying to get laid too" Clodsky ruined Enigma's moment.

"Dys… you're bleeding" Turco placed her hand on his stomach.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it, just tie them up or something" Dys instructed her. Turco proceeded to tie the three Piratiers up and shove them against the outside wall of the gem shop. "Clodsky, how went the recruitment?" Dys asked him.

"The pirates have joined us, but these three insist on giving us problems" Cloud clarified.

"Hey! You got the pirates from Mos Le'Harmless to join you? Why didn't you say so? We'll join you, too, then!" Ann spoke for the three piratiers. The other piratiers nodded in agreement.

"Fine" Dys cut their ropes and freed them, "Let's not have anymore trouble?"

"That's no problem with me" Ann stood up and wiped herself off. "Now what are we exactly expected to do?" she asked.

"Help us in a war against Zezima, starting tomorrow. Good luck" Dys said bluntly, and walked back into the gem shop. The Piratiers walked out and back to their ship to rest for the coming battle the next day.

Cloud walked to the general store. The newly returned store clerk greeted him, "Hello my boy, may I be of assistance, perhaps help you find something you need?"

Cloud looked around the shop a bit, then back to the shop keeper and asked, "Have you got any runes?"

The shop keeper went into the back room, and came back a moment later with a smile on his face. "It appears that I've acquired quite a collection of runes as of late, care to take a look?"

Cloud smirked and nodded, his eyes widened as the shop keeper brought out all of the runes Patch had stolen from himself and Enigma. "How much for all of those?" he asked.

The shop keepers smile widened, "Are you battling against Zezima tomorrow in the great battle?"

Cloud scratched the back of his head "Yeah, actually… I am going to be there tomorrow."

The shop keeper closed the register and put the runes into a pouch, "Then take them for free; you're doing Falador enough of a favor by defending us." He handed the pouch to Cloud, but Dystridev walked in just then.

"Clodsky, pay the man!" Dystridev blurted out. Cloud gave a look of frustration and pulled out the ten thousand gold pieces required. He handed the money to the shop keeper, thanked him and walked back outside the shop to rejoin his party. "Welcome back, cheap skate. So, what exactly do we do for the rest of the day? Go kick fat dogs or something?" Dys suggested.

Enigma looked puzzled, "Dys, what exactly do you have against dogs, again?"

Dystridev glared at Enigma with a look of stone, "Enigma, you're a dog. What do you THINK I have against them?"

Cloud laughed slightly, "Wow, Dys, I forgot that Enigma was our bitch until you just reminded me that way!"

"Glad to be of service, Clodsky" Dys laughed back.

Enigma whined and walked north towards the gate, "Bastards! I'm going to enjoy my chocolate milk WITHOUT you fucktards"

Dys shrugged and turned to Clodsky, "Well?"

"Well, what? Are you expecting a blowjob or something? GET OUT OF HERE!" Clodsky commanded Dys.

"..." Dys glared at Cloud, then walked towards the north gate as well.

Cloud smirked at finally making Dys look bad and teleported to Varrock.

Cloud reached the Blue Moon Inn within minutes of walking. He shoved the door to the side as he walked in, "Tifa?" he looked around slowly but saw nothing. All the furniture had been removed from the building and Tifa was nowhere to be seen. He was worried now so he started his way up the steps. A few steps up Cloud heard a noise, a creak, _"What the hell?"_ Cloud thought to himself as he looked back and saw the door slam shut behind him. Now becoming paranoid, Cloud reached the top of the stairs and looked around, yet Tifa was still out of sight. _"Shit, what the hell is going on here?" _Cloud thought he was losing his mind. He gave up and headed back down the stairs and to the door, as he reached the door and pushed it, he realized it had been barricaded from the other side. Intent on figuring out what was going on, he pushed the door harder, but to no avail. Cloud punched the door in anger, "WHO THE HELL HAD THIS BRIGHT IDEA TO FUCK UP MY DAY!?" Cloud yelled outloud.

"That, would be me, you 'bright' fool" a man responded as he walked through the backdoor and into the main room.

Cloud turned to see who the voice was, only to see, Zane, one of Zezima's Imperial Guards. "No!" Cloud yelled as he pulled the Dragon Two-Hander from his back and swung horizontally at Zane but he easily blocked the sword with his black spiked vambraces.

"Yes? I'm afraid so?" Zane wondered what Cloud was babbling on about as he quickly grabbed the Dragon 2h by the blade and pulled it away from Cloud, throwing it aside. "What did you honestly expect to accomplish with that puny thing anyway?" Zane kicked Cloud in the stomach and uppercutted him while he flinched in pain, knocking him into the air and onto his back.

_"Ugh, if he killed her... how am I supposed to get revenge like this?" _Cloud was furious now, he had no chance of winning obviously, but he had to find a way. He charged at Zane blindly and held his right fist behind him, hiding the momentum building and finally as he was face to face with him, he threw the punch, landing hard onto him, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!" Cloud yelled out as he realized he had just punched into a spike on Zane's Bandos platebody.

Zane laughed in amusement, "Cloud, did you think THAT would get you any farther than your puny sword?"

Cloud growled, holding his fist in pain and kept throwing punches, not caring about the pain that filled him after each blow, "I'll kill you! That armor can't save you forever!"

Zane was growing bored with Cloud's enslaught of punches and finally pulled the Armadyl Godsword from his back, "Cloud, it's time you met your maker".

Cloud's eyes grew wide as Zane raised the sword above his head, he fell to his knees and winced, waiting for the final blow, the end of his futile fight for survival; but it never came. He heard a clang; and looked up to see none other than Keri, standing in front of him, blocking the enormous sword with his Dragon scimitar. "Cloud, for Saradomin's sake! Move!" the sound of cracking could be heard as the Godsword began to rip through the metal of the scimitar.

Cloud came to his senses finally long enough to roll out of the way, grabbing his Dragon 2h and threw it at Zane, hitting the plate in the back, but merely making Zane fall off balance and release the pressure from Keri. "Now who's got the advantage, you overgrown pig?" Cloud said confidently.

"I could kill you both here, but it's too soon to show what these are capable of. You two got lucky this time" Zane said as he put the Godsword on his back and calmly kicked through the barricaded door and teleported away.

Cloud breathing heavily finally regained his composure and looked to Keri, "What made you show up at a time like this?"

Keri shrugged "I really couldn't tell you, it was more of a coincidence I guess; I just came for a drink".

Tifa finally stumbled in the back door and fell to the floor in a bloody heap. "Tifa!" Cloud yelled in concern as he ran to her aid, "That bastard did this to her, he's a dead man. Next time, HE won't be so lucky".

Keri started resetting all the furniture in the inn and cleaned up the mess made from the brawl, then when he finished he poured himself a drink "Heh, it's fair I get a drink on the house, right, Cloud? I did clean it up afterall".

"Yeah, whatever. Just don't get carried away drinking too many. We still have a battle tomorrow, you know" Cloud replied as he walked Tifa up the stairs and into her bed. Cloud walked back down and sat next to Keri at the bar, pouring himself a beer as well. "If that stupid Zane guy could beat us two on one... how can we expect to win the battle tomorrow?" Cloud was doubting himself.

"Sheer numbers, maybe? If not that, then we have our persistence to rely on. So don't you go doing what you did just now and give up on us, remember, we look out for each other, and we will not fail" Keri said confidently, reassuring Cloud in the process.

"Yeah, that's what we have. We have the courage to win; no matter what!" Cloud raised his glass in pride.


	7. So Two Godswords Walk Into A Map

Chapter 6

...So Two Godswords Walk Into a Map...

Cloud awoke sleepily in the bed, looking at the sun dial it had to be... nearly 9 A.M., he yawned loudly as he trudged down the stairs to the bar to meet Tifa standing at her usual spot, bartending. "Good morning, Tifa" Cloud managed to say before laying his head on his arms and falling asleep momentarily onto the bar counter.

"Clodsky, wake the hell up" Keri smacked Clodsky in the back of the head as he walked in and sat down next to him. "I need some Karamjan rum over here" Keri waved at Tifa and threw her thirty gold coins.

Clodsky moaned and lifted his head, "If you had a hang over like this, you'd be tired too"

"Quit bitching and sober up for the fight. They're assembling at the mage arena bank in 3 hours" Keri informed Cloud as Tifa slid his rum over the counter to him.

"Ugh, five more minutes" Cloud fell backwards out of the bar stool onto the floor.

Keri leaned back and looked down at Cloud, "Dude, you're such a light-weight. I'll meet you at the mage arena in 3 hours. You better be ready" Keri dropped five gold coins and a newcomer's map on Cloud. "If you get lost, use that, you dunce" Keri mocked him and walked out.

Cloud mumbled, "Fuck you, Keri" as he threw the map off of himself and got back on the stool, "Tifa, give me something for this hang over, damn it"

"If you ask me like that, I'm not going to get you anything. What's the magic word?" Tifa scolded him.

Enigma ran in randomly, "Ice barrage! That's the magic word!"

Clodsky raised an eyebrow, "Enigma, when the hell did you decide on that?"

"Just now! Isn't it great?" Enigma celebrated his personal victory.

Clodsky sighed, "Please, give me something for this hang over, ice barrage"

Tifa glared at the two of them and smacked Enigma upside the head, "You're not helping!"

Enigma glared back at Tifa, "Now I'm too injured to fight, way to go, Tifa!"

"Oh nos! What have you done to Enigma!" Dys ran in quickly shouting cheerfully. "I'll kill you if you damaged his reticules!"

"What the fuck are reticules?" Tifa was confused now.

"Dys, quit confusing Tifa, it's rude" Cloud yawned quietly.

Dys threw a Dragon dagger at Cloud, "Wake up!"

Clodsky's eyes went wide as he saw it approach closer and closer, but he was too tired to move, "Five more minutes, please".

Dys grabbed the dagger out of mid flight, "Fine. Zamorak bitch" Dys said slightly irritated. "You've got five minutes, then you're gonna be an injured soldier awfully quick".

Enigma laughed, "Clodsky get up! We're gonna go to war! We're gonna totally trash those guys. Whenever Dys is cheerful, we seem to do better" Enigma patted Cloud on the back lightly.

"Shut up, you don't know what we're up against, Enigma" Cloud muttered as Tifa finally handed him a cup of Guthix's rest.

"That should perk you right up, Cloud" Tifa smiled as she walked into the kitchen and started making food.

Cloud drank the beverage and looked to Dys, standing confidently against the wall, "What's with the change of heart, Dys?"

Dys looked up with a devilish smirk, "I'm looking forward to killing a few thousand people today, I figure it'll take some stress off"

Cloud was speechless. "Owned!" Enigma said to Clodsky, "You got fuckin' owned, Clodsky!"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Dys?" Cloud was appalled. "That's your motive! To kill people!"

"No, to kill Zezima specifically" Dys' smile turned to a stern look.

"You can't. Don't try" Cloud's expression became serious as well.

Enigma was starting to feel the tension in the air return from last night, "Uh... guys? Let's cheer up? Today we win the war?"

Cloud stood up from the bar stool and turned to Enigma, "Tell me if this hurts" and punched Enigma in the stomach.

Enigma fell to the floor holding his stomach, coughing lightly, "What the hell was that for, Clodsky?"

"If you can't take one measly punch from me, there's no chance in hell you'll stand a chance against Zezima's imperial guard. I hope you enjoy our defeat today as much as I will" Cloud said as he walked towards the door.

Dys ran up behind Cloud, turned him around and punched him in the face, "Dude! Chill the fuck out! You wanna make us lose morale already!" Dys' expression was as confident as stone. "I already know what we're up against. Keri told me. That doesn't mean I'm gonna be some pansy and give up already. So since when did you of all people start being such a quitter!" Dys was enraged by Cloud's pessimism.

Cloud rubbed his cheek lightly, "Dys... if you ever hit me again..."

"What? You're gonna kill me? You wanna have a little pre-battle, Clodsky? Honestly, I'm not in the mood for your arrogance right now" Dys met his challenge.

Cloud yelled loudly, "Dys! Get to the mage arena bank, now! I don't have time for your pissy attitude"

"Oh fuck you, I'm gonna enjoy my day" Dys shoved Cloud to the side and walked off.

Enigma looked at Dys walking away, then to Cloud, still rubbing his cheek, "Clodsky... what's your deal today?"

"If you had your hide handed to you last night, you wouldn't be looking forward to the battle today either" Cloud said in monotone.

Enigma looked down, then back at Cloud, "Clodsky, when you stop being a jerk, tell me... until then, I'll be with Dys. I can't fight with you bringing me down like this"

The comment and watching Enigma walk away in pursuit of Dys stung Cloud, _"Ugh, what am I doing? What's wrong with me?" _Cloud was flustered by the exchange and walked towards Edgeville, seeking guidance.

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Every step felt like an eternity, as Cloud finally passed the bridge leading up ice mountain. He saw a female in full white knight armor with a skirt, a helm of Neitiznot, a Dragon scimitar, Dragon boots, and a Rune defender approaching him, and a dwarf following underneath her, wearing a brown apron, a dwarven crown, and a Dragon battleaxe, staring up her skirt.

"Would you stop that, you perverted thing!" the girl yelled at the dwarf and smacked him. "Quit being a pedophile!" she continued screaming at him and slapping him repeatedly.

"Oi, I was just window shopping! I swear!" the dwarf ran towards Cloud. "Oi mate, a little help here?" the dwarf asked Cloud and tugged on his pants leg.

Cloud stood between the two, "Okay, dwarf boy, stop being a pervert, and girl, stop wearing skimpy skirts so he can just look up them. Problem solved" Cloud smirked.

"..." both the dwarf and the girl responded.

"What?" Cloud was confused.

"My name is Draicon, lord of the Falador dwarven mine, and I don't like your attitude!" Draicon pointed at Cloud accusingly.

"And I am Yuffie of the Falador White Knights! You can't tell me what to do!" Yuffie raised her fist at Cloud.

"Okay, okay! Yeesh, leave me the hell alone then. I have a battle to prepare for, and I've had enough trouble for one day" Cloud said in defeat and continued his walk.

Draicon ran up behind Cloud, "Wait, did you say a battle? The dwarves of Falador have longed for an opportunity to wage war once again!"

Cloud's frown turned upside down, "Oh really, now?"

Draicon nodded, "We seek to help our human brethren right now, so what do you say? Let us help you? We can assemble in 30 minutes or less"

Cloud didn't know what to say but, "Yes!". He couldn't help but think to himself _"Maybe we'll have a chance today, afterall? Maybe Dys' little happy streak was some kind of omen afterall, like Enigma said; nah, I'm making too much of this"_.

Draicon ran off towards the mines and Lightning approached Cloud as well, "So where is this battle waging exactly?" she asked.

"The deep wilderness. My battalion is grouping at the mage arena bank. Let me guess, you're interested in coming too?" Cloud anticipated.

"What are you talking about, fool? I'm already heading there" Yuffie smirked as she walked past him and skipped along towards the mage arena.

Cloud was slightly more cheerful now as he approached Abbott Langley, and greeted him, "Master Langley, I seek your guidance. I feel I've been led astray; I've lost my hope, I need to free myself of this guilt".

Langley looked puzzled, "My boy, why would Guthix allow you to contain such negative feelings for yourself, have you made the forces unbalanced?"

"I feel I've let Zamorak take control..." Cloud said sadly.

"Ah, you've felt defeat at the hands of Zamorak, making them seem superior" Langley theorized.

"Something like that" Cloud trailed off.

Langley put his hands on Cloud's shoulders, "Don't fret over it. We all fail sometimes; don't let it get to you, just go out there and do your best, may Guthix embody you.

Cloud nodded and teleported to Ardougne.

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Cloud reached the mage arena and watched as thousands of soldiers poured into the mage arena as the pulled the lever to go to the bank. "Wow, more showed up than I expected" he smirked slightly as he pulled the lever and saw the masses inside. "Hey guys!" Cloud smiled brightly to everyone and waved.

"Welcome to the beginning of the end" Dys patted Cloud on the back and welcomed him.

"Welcome back Clodsky!" Enigma waved randomly.

"Cloud, you were the last one. You're late, bitch" Grave welcomed him as he pushed all of his mercenaries into formation.

Dys looked around, "So, tell me Clodsky, did you get your act together, or are you still gonna be a little pansy bitch on the battlefield?"

Cloud smirked and gave a look of challenge at Dys, "Oh please, you're the only pansy in this room, and I'm willing to bet a whopping two hundred thousand gold pieces that I'll kill more than you today".

Enigma's mouth was agape, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh burn! That's a challenge Dys! You gonna take that! You gonna be the bitch now?"

Dys smirked and laughed slightly, "I'll take that challenge".

Cloud circled the room, overlooking the many groups: Grave's group, including Bloodwarrior; Turco's group, including Yuffie and the Falador White Knights; Draicon's group, including the entire Falador dwarven army; Bostonjoe's group including the entire Fremmenik Province; the Piratiers' group; and finally Keri and Kat who were left feeling a bit lonely, but chatted with Cloud, Dys, and Enigma shortly.

A few minutes passed when finally Cloud stood in front of everyone, "Today, we will fight for our kingdoms! With our powers combined, we're unstoppable, even by Zezima! We shall end his reign of terror, in a bloody massacre! For Gielnor!" Cloud raised his Dragon 2h in victory.

Dystridev walked up beside Cloud and whispered in his ear, "Dude, you're getting them a little too worked up. You might wanna downsize the inspirational speeches next time. They still have like fifteen minutes before we assemble outside and charge, and yet now they all wanna go! If we go seperately, we'll be massacred, it'd be stupid to do fronts, and you know it" Dys explained.

Cloud shrugged, "Little late now"

Enigma sipped his chocolate milk and pulled the lever, "For Gielnor!" he said in a puny tone as he teleported outside.

"For fuck's sake, look what you did, Clodsky! Now we gotta advance early, let's move!" Dys commanded to everyone as he pulled the lever and chased after Enigma.

"For fuck-" Cloud was cut off as he pulled the lever and teleported outside after the other two.

Turco nodded to Grave and the others as she moved her group forward and began the advance outside.

Cloud rushed after Dys, who he could barely see now as they ran along the wilderness, he could sense they were getting closer to the source of evil. "Dys, wait up!" he yelled but, he was too far away to hear him. He finally caught up to Dys, who had stopped next to Enigma and was staring ahead. "What're you guys staring at?" Cloud asked as he looked for the source of their attention.

Dys pointed ahead, towards the rogue's castle and the mass of Zezima's soldiers, being led by the imperial guard.

Cloud's jaw dropped as he saw, nearly millions approaching, "Well guys?"

"Well what? You expecting a blowjob or something? Get out there!" Dys pushed Cloud forward as he charged towards them, drawing his crystal bow and firing repeatedly at the mass.

"...The dumbass actually got me back" Clodsky replied as pulled the Dragon 2h from his back and dashed towards the mass.

"Remind me why we even bother moving?" Enigma questioned as he ice barraged from where he stood, stopping the soldiers where they stand and letting the back lines move forward, ruining their formations.

The groups started pouring from the mage arena bank and suddenly the imperial guards started to look worried. Cloud jumped into the front line of soldiers, placing his feet on one's shoulders and stabbing him in the face with the two-handed sword and jumping off the decapitated corpse as more became enraged but merely stabbing the corpse, he quickly swung with a flurry of horizontal swings, cutting quite a few in half at the waist as he began to dwindle their numbers, "Hey Dys, I'm up to thirty already, how about you, kid?"

"Pssh" Dys threw his crystal bow at a soldier, who surprised by the attack, caught it, but was met by the Dragon halberd in the face, "You see, Clodsky, I'm up to sixty" as he pulled the crystal bow away from the dead soldier's hands, "Besides, it's not like you ever stood a chance in winning anyway, sadsky".

Enigma began to sip his chocolate milk in the distance as he continued barraging away at the hordes of soldiers advancing towards Cloud and Dystridev, "Hey guys, anytime you need my help, I'll be over here" he offered as he continued carelessly firing, until he finally hit Cloud with one, "Oh snap, my bad, Clodsky" he apologized as he finally ran in with his whip and began slashing his way through them with his teammates.

Dys looked to Cloud and Enigma, "Uh, guys? Did you two realize there's more coming out of the castle...?"

"What!" Cloud's eyes went wide as he realized Dys was right, there was at least another million coming, "Shit!"

Enigma smiled as he pulled the ancient's staff from his waist and put his whip back under his belt, "More kills for me!" Enigma smiled and began blasting away.

"Was Enigma in on our bet too? I'd like to make a quick four hundred thousand today!" Dys laughed as he began firing away with his two Rune crossbows with enchanted emerald bolts, "How long you think it'll take them to start taking us seriously?" Dys mocked Zezima's army as they hadn't managed to lay a finger on any of the trio yet.

Finally the rest of the groups had caught up to Cloud, Dys, and Enigma and passed them, "We'll take it from here, kids" Grave waved as he passed the trio and began the advance into the fight. Grave charged into the hordes of infantry, "Assassins! Kill them all!" he cried out as he pulled the whip from his ankle and began his slaughter. He wrapped his whip around the leading troop's ankle, pulling the whip back he tripped that one, causing the followers to fall over him, he quickly casted ice barrage onto the pile of troops. "It's like barraging fish in a barrel. Where's the challenge, guys?" Grave mocked the trio's difficulty.

Dys turned his head to Cloud and Enigma, "Ignoring him... what do we do now? Redundant task of helping them? I think they have it handled. What about a little infiltration?" Dys suggested.

Cloud smiled eagerly, "Okay! This sounds like fun!"

"Fun? What the hell is wrong with you, Clodsky? This sounds like my opportunity to own you again!" Enigma sipped his chocolate milk.

"When are you gonna put that down?" Dys asked Enigma.

"Never; it helps build strong teeth" Enigma showed his teeth, which were all brown.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, ignoring him too" Cloud laughed and led the trio towards the castle hastily.

The group finally reached the castle gates and charged towards the open doorway, only to be blocked by a female warrior in Bandos. "You shall not pass. You shall die" She bluntly stated.

"Oh suuuuuuuuure, some little pansy girl is gonna take all three of us, oooooookay, not sure when the rules of physics changed but okay, if you say so" Enigma mocked her.

Dys was getting impatient and began firing away with Rune arrows at her but she stood there, letting the arrows bounce off her armor, "Yeah, okay, that wasn't futile much..."

"Dys, quit being an idiot and kill this bitch already" Cloud commanded. "Fine, whoever kills her gets ten kills added to their score" Cloud added.

"Oh snap!" Enigma ice barraged her frantically but she finally pulled the Zaros Godsword from her back and threw her Bandos aside.

"Foolish mage. Do you have some kind of deathwish or something? I am Maxima of Zezima's imperial guard, wielder of the Zaros Godsword. You will meet your demise at my hands" Shannon introduced herself as she stood in a ready stance.

"Uhhhhhhh no" Enigma denied her introduction as he froze her one more time with ice barrage, approached her, and tossed her into the wall. "Let's go guys, this bitch won't be bothering us for another twenty seconds" Enigma held his hand out to the castle.

Clodsky and Dys quickly ran past Enigma into the castle only to come face to face with three Rune troopers. "Hey! You three are with those idiots! You're not with Zezima!" the middle Rune trooper charged at the trio with his Rune halberd aimed for Dys.

Dys stared at the Rune trooper blankly, "Who does this guy think he is? Enigma, kill this guy I can't believe this"

Enigma ice barraged the Rune trooper, took the Rune halberd from his hands, leg sweeped him to the floor and held the blade of the halberd to his throat, "I need your armor, your weapons, and your amulet"

"Take it, ugh!" the Rune trooper threw the requested items to Enigma.

"The rest of you do the same, or you're dead too" Dys instructed. The Rune troopers obediently listened and handed over their armor, weapons, and amulets. The trio quickly threw on the armor with their respective weapons: Cloud with a Rune two hander, Dystridev with the Rune halberd, Enigma with a Rune scimitar, and waltzed into the main hall.

"Remind me why it was just so easy to run past an entire army, an elite guard, and then the doorman?" Dys asked his companions.

Clodsky looked at Dys, "Beats me, but if it's this easy the rest of the way, Nova sure will be surprised when we come back with Zezima's head".

Dys shrugged off the comment and started walking down the eastern hall, "I wonder where Zezima keeps his liquor..."

"Dys! Concentrate! You wanted to kill Zezima, remember?" Cloud reminded him.

"Oh right!" Dystridev shook his head lightly, turned his head to the chamber to his right and spotted an altar with lit burners. "Interesting..." Dys walked into the room cautiously and looked around the dimly lit room to see a coffin on the floor.

Cloud followed behind him and spotted the black wooden coffin as well. "What the hell is a coffin doing in here? We got another vampire to slay?"

"Doubtful, especially considering that there's a body in there..." Enigma trailed off as he realized what he just said, "Wait, a body!" he jumped back as he blood ran cold.

"Enigma, quit being a wuss" Dys approached the corpse, put his index and middle fingers to its neck, and felt a pulse. "Still living. Obviously not a corpse. Why they're in a coffin is the real question here" Dys stood back up as he pondered why this man would be unconscious in a coffin.

"Maybe it's a pre-burial?" Cloud theorized.

"Once again, doubtful. This is Zezima we're talking about" Dys rationalized.

Enigma was shivering in the corner at this point and looked at Dys, "How the hell can you be so calm? Stop! It's bothering me that you can just stand there and act like it's not at all creepy!" he whined.

Dys and Clodsky both glared at Enigma and simultaneously commanded, "Get the hell up, Enigma!"

Enigma hastily wiped himself off and clumsily fell into the coffin as he tried to walk towards them, "Shit! Shit! Help! Help! Rape! I'm stuck in a coffin with a living corpse!"

The man coughed roughly and threw Enigma out of the coffin onto the floor, "Way to give a guy a wake up, jerk" he muttered as he stood to his feet. He wore a brilliant red cloak, frayed and ragged at the bottom, the rest of his body was hidden in black. His left hand looked more to the effect of a claw, golden and metallic. His boots were composed of the same material, the spikes of which jutted out far past his actual foot length. His hair was long, black, and looked as if he hadn't seen a brush in many years. On his forehead he bore a bandana, the same shade of blood red as his cloak.

"Well, what do you know, the guy can talk, walk, and diss Enigma. He's definitely one of us" Dys commented.

Cloud couldn't help but wonder, _"What kind of person sleeps in a coffin in a dank castle like this? Dim lighting, a coffin, but a pulse? He might as well be a vampire, even if he isn't, he still troubles me. Can he be trusted? Friends are few and far between, maybe I should give this guy a chance"._

"Cloud, that's your name, correct?" the man swatted the dust off of himself and stepped out of the coffin.

Cloud nodded slowly, "How... did you know that?"

"Magic. I believe you're the adhesive in this relationship?" The man turned to Dys, "You're Dystridev, quite the cold-hearted warrior. Surprising that Saradomin has looked over you this long."

"Tch, matter of opinion, kid" Dys looked aside as he leaned smugly against the wall.

The man looked to Enigma, "And you're Enigma, the child prodigy who has yet to learn the meaning of responsibility."

Enigma glared at the man with narrow eyes, "Yeah, I love you too, asshole" Enigma replied sarcastically.

"I am known as Vincent, but I haven't been called by name for a long time. I will go with you on your journey and I will look over you three" Vincent held out his hand in friendship.

Dys continued to look away, "I don't need a babysitter. If you wanna tag along, go for it, just stay the hell out of my way."

Cloud smiled at the man, "I'd be happy to have another joining our cause."

Enigma smacked himself in the forehead, "Fine, just come on, we don't have all day."

Vincent laughed slightly, thinking to himself, _"These three are so clueless that it's actually entertaining. They need to realize their destiny and stop living these meaningless lives they call their "Fates". If only they knew what they were capable of already... then we wouldn't have had to let things get this far. Foolish children." _Vincent looked to the trio, "Alright, shall we go?"

The newly spawned quartet nodded and returned to the main hall continuing eastward. The walls covered in cheap red tapestries and bronze armor sets were beginning to bore Cloud as he finally turned to a room that caught his interest. "Hm..." Cloud said to himself as he walked into the candlelit room and approached the table in the center of the room. "What's this? A map...?" Cloud turned his head slightly, trying to understand the map. "Guys, come look at this!" Cloud yelled to his ensemble as they quickly regrouped and looked the map over.

Several minutes passed of evaluating the map and finally Enigma bursted out, "Anybody figure it out yet?"

"I have a theory" Vincent answered as he pointed to several swords drawn on the map. "Basically, this is a map of the wild. Note the landmarks such as where we are, the mage arena, the bandit's camp, and others. These..." Vincent pointed to the swords again, "Are what I'm going to guess... are known as the Godswords, or at least these are the locations. According to this, Zezima's already located all of them except for the Guthix sword, but I believe he wields two himself, and has given the other four to his imperial guards."

"Yeah, we met one outside. What's so special about these Godswords, Vincent?" Dys wondered.

Vincent rubbed his chin in thought, "Well, just imagine a sword capable of cutting completely through any weapon made of dragon. These weapons are the most sought after weapons capable of destruction and those wielding them are virtually invincible."

"I met one last night..." Cloud trailed off sadly.

"So, we've seen two? Two in the hands of Zezima, and another one with some other guy. Then we have to find the last one, correct?" Enigma tried to plan a solution.

"That's not really possible. I don't know how the hell Zezima even managed to find these six, let alone how he expects to find the Guthix Godsword as well" Vincent was making the situation seem grave.

"No matter. This is what he's doing in the wilderness. He's seeking out the Godswords, and he's almost done. We have to kill him before he manages to--" Dys was cut off by Vincent.

"No! You must NOT attempt to fight him! He'll kill you if you try to face him now! You can't risk your lives so foolishly. Sometimes it really can be smarter to retreat and fight another day. I have an idea, but we'll have to get back to safety, and that means we need to get back to Varrock, away from the battlefield. We must finish this battle before Zezima finds out you know his secret weapon" Vincent suggested as he pointed to the door they came through.

Cloud's attention was reverted towards the walls, all of which were covered by glowing orbs. After closer inspection, Cloud had realized that some of them contained scenes of the here and now, others contained things that looked completely out of place. One of them had a man that looked shockingly like Cloud, fighting against a man with a black cloak and long silver hair. Cloud deduced that they probably contained scenes of the past, present, and future. He saw three orbs, all alone in a corner, they intrigued him, so he walked closer to them. He noticed that there was a blue one, a red one, and a green one. The shadowy depths of the orbs flowed like smoke, until human-like figures were assembled from them. The blue one spoke, Cloud knew as he did that it was Saradomin, which meant the others must be Zamorak and Guthix.

"Gielnor has three months, if things are not as they should be by then, I shall be forced to purge the entire land, and recreate again. Saradomin's will shall be brought upon the land." Saradomin's statement went unheard, except by the likes of Cloud.

"Gielnor should be given the chance to choose it's own fate. Interference is unjust, and should not be allowed. Three months, for Gielnor to choose it's path." Guthix's speech bounced off the walls, Cloud the only one affected by it though it seemed.

"While Saradomin and Guthix choose to let time be their master, I have chosen to master time itself, by influencing Gielnor's greatest warriors to do my bidding. I will rule over this land, and none shall oppose me!" The speech from Zamorak echoed throughout the room, but yet only Cloud seemed able to actually hear it.

Dys, slightly irritated, threw the rune to the floor, pulling his Dragon halberd to his hands, and walked out the door, "Let's get the hell out of here, guys. Stop wasting time, I'm not gonna let our troops die on the battlefield today" Dys held the halberd above his head triumphantly and started running west down the main hall towards the main gate.

"Well, that settles it. We're going out the front door!" Cloud exclaimed as both him and Enigma threw their rune to the ground and started their sprint for the door.

Just as the four warriors reached the door, Zezima appeared behind them in a flash, "Going somewhere, children?"

The four froze for a moment, but Vincent hastily flung the gate switch over, opening the gate, "Run you three! I'll catch up later! Just get out of here!" Vincent pulled his Rune crossbow from his waist and fired three enchanted Dragonstone bolts at once hitting Zezima square in the Dragon chain.

Zezima shrugged the hit off and backhanded Vincent across the room, "You can't escape! I won't allow you to ruin my plan!"

Enigma shoved Cloud and Dystridev through the door in a rush, "Go!" he screamed as he turned and fired an ice barrage at Zezima; he stood frustrated for a moment, but threw his Obsidian shield at Enigma in retaliation.

Just then, Shibby ran up to Enigma and grabbed him by the shoulders, "I'm here to save you assholes!"

Enigma ducked down and heard the Obsidian shield's blade sever Shibby's head in a gory mess, "Good luck saving us when you're dead, Shibby." Enigma recovered from the shock and kept running through the corpses, and could see the Ardougne lever in the distance, "Almost... there, guys" he struggled to say as he trudged along. Enigma attempted to catch his breath, and began to sprint to catch up with Cloud and Dystridev. "Guys wait up!" he cried as he made it alongside them.

Cloud took a second to evaluate the situation at face value, he looked around the battlefield seeing all his comrades still battling Zezima's forces. He saw Bostonjoe and Bloodwarrior double teaming on troopers to defeat them easier, meanwhile Grave dueled the furious attacker Maxima. Turco and Yuffie were making a hasty getaway from the battlefield, tripping slightly over bodies as they ran.

Draicon was a flurry of motion as he made his escape, stabbing ankles or anything else he could reach as he made his way to the Ardougne lever. He gave a thumbs up towards Cloud, who returned the gesture. Kat used her magic to create a powerful barrier, of which the troopers were unable to penetrate. Keri used this distraction to kill five of them efficiently. He then yelled to the trio, who had just been standing around, "What the hell are you guys doing? We're supposed to be escaping, don't just stand around to get slaughtered, get moving!"

The trio watched as all of their friends made their way to the Ardougne lever, for the escape. Cloud, Dys, and Enigma took off running to make it, but the effort was in vain, the lever was blown to bits right before their eyes. Cloud scanned the area to see if anyone was left, they'd all made it out except themselves."Did you really think you'd escape me so easily, children?" Zezima's scathing voice rang out over the wilderness. He walked slowly towards them, knowing they had no way out now.

Cloud looked at both Dystridev and Enigma, hoping one of them had a plan, but they looked to be as shocked and scared as he was. "Guys... any ideas?" he tried to urge them. Enigma shook his head slowly, with eyes wide in fear, and Dystridev glowered at Zezima, halberd in hand, Cloud realized that all was lost.

Zezima reached them, standing mere feet away, as cruel and intimidating as ever. "Your meaningless little 'rebellion' is over now. I hope you enjoyed your last moments, because now you have nothing to look forward to except death." He went to lunge at them with his newly acquired Godswords, but a familiar figure stood in his path. "Nova, you know good and well that you cannot defeat me, so why are you here? You couldn't possibly be saving these useless maggots; that'd be foolish, especially since you have no escape, as there's no more teleports out of the wilderness."

Nova's voice seemed to have a calming effect on the terrified trio "Ah, but even you must realize that I'm a little bit more clever than to come here without an escape plan, my boy." Nova seemed to show no fear, his voice almost seemed to suggest he was having afternoon tea, rather than in a situation where people's lives were at stake. "And now, young Zezima, I bid you adieu." Nova winked, and vanished instantaneously, taking Cloud, Dystridev, and Enigma with him.

They came to a stop in the center of Varrock, the trio losing their balance upon landing. Cloud climbed to his feet slowly, still trying to make sense of what just occurred. "Nova, what just happened?" he asked with a slight tremor in his voice.

Dystridev and Enigma looked just as visibly shaken as Cloud did, yet Nova stood as if nothing had even happened. "Well, boys, you all nearly died. That's the short version of what just happened, and the answer to your question. You wouldn't be alive and standing at the moment if I hadn't heard about the battle and found you just in time. It was a very foolish thing to do, heading into battle with Zezima's army without so much as proper training. Luckily for you three, I know where each of you can find your training, for the three months remaining. Enigma, you shall find what you need on an island off the coast of Relleka. Dystridev, you will find two men that should be able to help you to craft a magnificent bow, in the lovely city of Ardougne. And finally, Cloud, you will be coming with me for the next three months." Nova's speech ended, and all was silent for a moment, until all of their friends from the battle arrived in Varrock Square, some looking a little worse for wear.

Blood had Boston around the shoulders to keep him from collapsing, and Draicon was being held in the arms of Turco. The feisty dwarf was breathing softly, and had many cuts and bruises decorating his body. Cloud felt ashamed that he'd led all of his friends into battle for nothing. "I'm sorry... everyone. I let you all down" Cloud said softly, his shame making his voice barely audible. He nearly wished Zezima would have taken his life back in the wilderness, rather than face the amount of shame he had at the moment. Nova could feel Cloud's pain, and put an arm around his shoulders to comfort him.

Nova spoke again, this time to everyone in the square. "You all fought valiantly, and I'm very proud of all of you. There is much room for improvement, however, so I'd like you all to do your best to get stronger. Mentally, physically, spiritually, whatever it takes for you to succeed. Prepare yourselves however you see fit, just make sure you are ready to battle again with Zezima's army in three months. That will be the day that Gielnor is either saved, or destroyed." Nova's speech had a mixed reaction, some had looks of determination etched on their faces, others had tears of anxiety in their eyes. Regardless, Nova seemed to get his point across. Something had to be done about Zezima, and soon.


	8. I Know, I'm a Critic

Chapter 7

I Know, I'm a Critic

(Cloud)

I awoke with a start, Nova decided he wasn't going to wait for me to get up, so he poured icy water over my head. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled at him while shaking water from my spikes.

"The time for lazy habits is over, Cloud. You need to mature physically and mentally if you expect to have a chance against Zezima, my boy. Now come with me, we're going somewhere more suitable for training for these three months."

I changed into my travelling gear, and set off with Nova. When we stopped at the Draynor Manor, I thought it was all a big joke. "Nova, you can't be serious! We're not really gonna live in that haunted tear down of a building are we? Nova?" But Nova had already started walking towards the decrepid building, so I followed him. He led me upstairs into what looked like a bedroom, since it had two beds and all. It was actually well furnished, and seemed to have everything we would need for three months worth.

I unpacked my things, and Nova led me to another room. It was a bit dark, so I lit the only lamp in the room, it illuminated a portal that stood in the center of the small room. "This my boy, is where we will spend the majority of our time these three months."

"Inside there, Nova?" I asked, slightly apprehensive of what I would find inside. Nova pushed me lightly towards it, and I stepped inside the glowing portal. It looked as if I was standing on the sky during a lightning storm. The gray clouds were supporting my weight, and lightning was striking and illuminating the area all around me. As far as I could see in this place, the sky was gray and clouds decorated the ground like disturbingly dirty old pillows. Nova stepped in behind me, and scanned the area.

"Ah, it seems the storms here have gotten more violent since my master taught me the art of combat in this very dimension. Afterall, it was over a hundred years ago since I've been here" Nova looked at me. "Shall we begin? Or are you too weak and helpless to even move in this place?"

I tried to move around, it felt as if the gravity was trying to press down on my very being, attempting to flatten me to the ground. "What's with this!?" I flipped to Nova.

"DId you not notice the gravity is far stronger here than in our normal dimension? You'll soon grow used to it, or at least become strong enough to tolerate it." Nova said with a smirk.

Nova must have wanted to show off, because he began a series of leaps around the area, dodging lightning bolts and such, the gravity having pretty much no effect. Needless to say, I was jealous of his skill. "Nova, how long till I can do that?"

"At your current rate of skill and your level of potential, I hope you can do this by the time you're my age, as you're showing the agility and temperment of Mr. Hyde!"

Obviously, that fired me up a bit, the jerk just dissed me! I started trying to run across the clouds, and ZAP! I could smell my shirt smoking from my body, after I'd just been fried by a bolt of lightning! I could hear Nova laughing at me from wherever he was bouncing around enjoying himself. I gotta admit to be honest, it hurt my pride. Nova finally came back down from jumping about, and stood next to me. "It would seem the first skill I should be teaching you, is to dodge lightning. Otherwise any progress I attempt to make with you will be pointless."

"Alright, so what do I do then?" I stood ready for whatever I thought I'd be doing.

"Clear your mind of thought, and keep your reflexes ready to spring at any time. Feel the air change as the lightning is about to hit, and dash yourself out of the way, or be burnt to a crisp, your choice really." Nova demonstrated the technique as a bolt passed right through where he had been just a second before. I watched and felt my jaw drop down from it's position on my face.

I spent hours trying to do it the way Nova showed me, but had only managed to dodge two bolts the entire time, one by luck because I'd collapsed from exhaustion right as a bolt struck. But at least I'd learned it, and it made moving around in the storm dimension much easier, as I'd been there for hours at a time. When I stepped through the portal ready to sleep, I felt many times lighter than I had earlier trying to dodge lightning.

A few days later I had mastered dodging lightning to the extent that I didn't get touched by a bolt for an entire day. Once I felt unhindered by the gravity of the dimension, Nova decided to teach me what he called "arcane fire", he described it as magic that called upon the natural powers and energy of the person, rather than magic runes. He claimed it's advantages are that it can hit through dragonhide far easier than magic with runes. Nova claimed the possibilities of arcane magics were only limited by the confines of the imagination. He showed me how he can create fire from nothing, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make even a spark come from my fingertips. Nova shook his head in disappointment, then spoke in a gravely tone. "Cloud, Cloud, Cloud.. The reason you cannot seem to even make a simple spark come from your fingers, is because your head is too far up your ass to see the big picture! You're still bathing in self-doubt and desolation, that it has made your heart cold as an icy wasteland. You have no love in your heart to create the warmth necessary for fire; I am telling you right now, go, and take a day away from training. Remind yourself of the love in your life, the people you care about. Your instinct to protect them will be the biggest incentive to harness your warmth, and create arcane fire, to protect the ones you love from a horrible fate."

I left the same day, and spent it trying to find my personal motivation. I'd had an interesting day, and when I returned, I found myself able to harness the power of arcane fire.

I'd been training for what felt like forever, in this dimension with my idol. I kneeled before him, as he claimed my training was complete, "Cloud, you've made extraordinary progress in this short time we've had. Even I am very proud to call you my successor, and present you with these Arcane robes, and this enchanted cape." The robes he showed me, almost didn't look like robes at all. They were more like sleeves, attached to shoulder pads, which clipped to belts, which attached to leg drapery. The cape, was a brilliant red, with gold embellishments on the shoulders and around the trim of the cape. I put the armor and cape on, it was surprisingly comfortable, and I felt a surge of something inside myself, pride, or power, something like that. He knighted me with his dragon longsword, and told me to rise. "Cloud, the battle is raging as we speak. Make your way to the back of the wilderness, and hurry! Your friends need your assistance!" And so I completed my training, and hoped it would be enough to protect everyone I care about.


End file.
